Have you ever thought about your reason for being here, your purpose? I know I have.
On November 22, 2007, something began shifting inside of me. I felt an awakening, an understanding of sorts. Suddenly it was as though knowledge and wisdom had come into me and filling me with illumination. The simple fact that by accepting God and His sacrifice, He accepted me into His Kingdom.
It all made sense, it was all clear now. I could feel the overwhelming joy of knowing what it was liked to be loved full up and spilling over. I couldn’t think about anything except the awareness of a shift in and around me and that the future was going to be alright.
I began to ask myself questions to ponder...
What if you could give total acceptance of yourself as is?
What if you actually stop judging yourself and feeling guilty?
What if you could stop the words spoken over you that repeatedly play in your mind over and over like a taped message?
What if you could do something that would make negative thoughts and feelings vanish, cares and worries lift like weights floating above your shoulders and neck.
How different would my life be if I could walk in faith and confidence that God is completely 100%, truthfully, without a doubt who he says he is and can do what he says he can do and further more, will do what he has promised he will do?
If I say I believe God and His Word (the Holy Bible), then I can trust him to finish what he started in me for he said he will NEVER leave me or forsake me. He said He will finish the good work he began in me. He said He has made a way for me. He said I am His child and He loves me. He said that none should perish but have everlasting life if only they believe in Him.
Believing in something or someone, makes you a follower, a promoter of that belief.
So if I believe then follow. No more fence straddling....just commit and go all the way with God. The results of this heart and mind change -- full comittment -- will astonish you how your life will change when you are fully committed. The secret here is to look at yourself and ask yourself "Am I FULLY committed?" If I was put to the test in some unusual, uncomfortable way, would I pass.
Only you can answer that question. Its between you and God but know this, the Bible says that our hearts can deceive us. So we have to ask God and rely on Him to reveal our hearts desires for only God truly knows what is inside of us and He loves us anyway.
As you pass through that valley of discomfort, trials and tests, pain and sorrow, whatever you are going through, remember that He already walked that road.
Now thinking about these thoughts and just trusting God for my future (our times are in his hands), there seemed to be a clarity of direction, just barely visible, as though to say, don’t think too much about the future just yet. Instead breathe in this time you are connected to. Savor it. Its called peace and love because the Heavenly Father loves you. He reaches out to you with arms of total love and acceptance. Will you surrender? Let him love you? Let the Father embrace you as He wants to be your Daddy. The Daddy who is always on your side, who always loves and listens to you. Father God hears your heart breaking, he sees every tear.
5/26/09
Are you a believer?
Bible verses that are the standard definition of who is a Christian:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 (NIV)
For the wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23 (NIV)
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)
To summarize, the only way to be saved and go to heaven is by the grace of Jesus and by faith in God. These are the basic verses that every Christian who has accepted Christ knows. Now for the verses that clearly state that only Christians who believe the above will go to Heaven:
-John 3:3: no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.
-John 3:15: everyone who believes in him [Jesus] may have eternal life.
-John 3:18: whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of Gods one and only Son.
-John 14:6: Jesus answered: No one comes to the Father except through me
-Acts 3:23: And it shall be, that every soul that shall not hearken to that prophet, shall be utterly destroyed from among the people. (ASV)
-Acts 4:12: Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved
-Romans 10:9: Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved
-Hebrews 9:28: he [Christ] will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him
-1 John 5:12: he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 (NIV)
For the wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23 (NIV)
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)
To summarize, the only way to be saved and go to heaven is by the grace of Jesus and by faith in God. These are the basic verses that every Christian who has accepted Christ knows. Now for the verses that clearly state that only Christians who believe the above will go to Heaven:
-John 3:3: no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.
-John 3:15: everyone who believes in him [Jesus] may have eternal life.
-John 3:18: whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of Gods one and only Son.
-John 14:6: Jesus answered: No one comes to the Father except through me
-Acts 3:23: And it shall be, that every soul that shall not hearken to that prophet, shall be utterly destroyed from among the people. (ASV)
-Acts 4:12: Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved
-Romans 10:9: Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved
-Hebrews 9:28: he [Christ] will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him
-1 John 5:12: he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
5/21/09
Patience
Life is just too short to be so upset about trivial things. I know this truth. I tell myself this almost every day and yet, when I least expect it -- WHAM! I get hit with that pesky bug that makes me freak out over the little things. I don't know how paper can push my buttons or impatience can cause me to be so nasty sometimes.
Then I end up at the hair salon to get my hair cut and styled (and a dye job). I look at two beautiful, adorable twin Asian little girls getting identical haircuts too. They are so cute. All they can think about is holding still and being good so when they are done they can run over and pet the puppy.
Times like these make me stop and just watch the innocence of life. What could be so important that I had to get all twisted out of shape over when I need to just hold still and be good so when I'm done I can run over and pet the puppy too.
Life really can be so simple in the eyes of a child. I think sometimes we adults need to learn from them. I hope I remember this "double" lesson.
Then I end up at the hair salon to get my hair cut and styled (and a dye job). I look at two beautiful, adorable twin Asian little girls getting identical haircuts too. They are so cute. All they can think about is holding still and being good so when they are done they can run over and pet the puppy.
Times like these make me stop and just watch the innocence of life. What could be so important that I had to get all twisted out of shape over when I need to just hold still and be good so when I'm done I can run over and pet the puppy too.
Life really can be so simple in the eyes of a child. I think sometimes we adults need to learn from them. I hope I remember this "double" lesson.
5/9/09
Honoring Mom
Mother's Day to most of us that means we call, write, send a card and/or gift to our mothers on that special day to make sure Mom knows we love her. It is an opportunity to show her we care and appreciate her, an opportunity to honor her.
I remember songs that explained how wonderful mothers are, "M is for the millions things she gives me, O is for"....well, you get the picture.
My version that I wrote today....
M is for the many times you nagged me
O is for my obvious replies
T is for the tantrums I threw to get my way
H is for the hard times when you made me cry
E is for the eternal time I was grounded
R is for the running away I promised you I'd do
put them all together, they spell M-O-T-H-E-R,
If she were alive today I'd hug and say 'Thank You'!
My children, Haylie & Coley, two kids that really make me proud. I am truly blessed to now have finally made it from "ma-ma", to "mommy", to "mom", and now to honorable title of "mother". They surpass themselves in showing me their love each year they grow as parents too. Sorry, kids, but I was beginning to wonder (just like my mother did with me) if you would finally get there. Its that place where you know they just get it finally. All your blood, sweat, tears and prayers are finally understood. Its not easy being a parent, especially a mother.
For mothers, the learning process is continual. We have to learn to let go of the apron strings, to butt out of your lives, to let you find out for yourself through your own mistakes. Although we would love to hear from you a couple of times each week if not more, telling us what new thing you've learned or what you've been going through, we Mother's of adult children, take whatever we can get from you now.
We're still here anytime you need us. Nothing would make us any happier than to be needed once in awhile, a little advice asked for would be like whipped cream on top of a well baked dessert that took all day to make. We are proud that you're handling life but here's a little secret I'll share. Mother's really don't stop worrying about their kids no matter how old you become, we just finally learn there isn't a darn thing we can do about it anymore so we just pray for you every day and leave you in God's hands.
Thank God for daughter-in-law's who influence their husbands to honor their mother. I'm sure my mother-in-law thanks me and my husband does too. He isn't working alone to find ways of showing his mom he loves her because he's got me there to help. Women know how to speak 'woman to woman' best. My son is pretty good about calling me and keeping in touch. He is very caring and keeps me updated on the growth of my grandson, which makes me happy. My daughter-in-law helps my son look good with her support. The two of them are really good about showing their appreciation and love for me. I feel truly honored and blessed to have gained another daughter who has brought out the best in my son. I feel sorry for men who don't have the help of a wife or girlfriend to pick out a mother's day gift.
And to my daughter -- didn't I tell you that you'd make a good mother someday? You had nothing to worry about. I always believed in you. I knew you had it in you because I turned out to be ok as a Mom and you're turning out just fine as a Mom too. In fact, I think you're doing a much better job than I would have in your circumstances. I'm so proud of you. Mother's and daughters don't really understand and appreciate each other that much until they are both older and wiser. Many times they often becomes best friends. That's what happened between my mother and me and now my daughter and I have a bonded friendship that we grew into. We finally 'get' each other now. I feel like I am learning from my daughter most of the time. To really appreciate each other it seems our relationship grows most living 1700 miles apart.
Other than Dr. Spock (not Leonard Nimoy), nobody wrote parental "how to" books i\\\ you into the perfect mother. Spock's book was more about helping the mother to ensure the baby survived the new inexperienced mother. Now we've got the Supernanny! She is about making sure you don't go insane and raise delinquents.
Before I close this blog message about honoring mothers, I would like to share a poem that I wrote for my parents in 1978 when I was a young mother myself.
"My Parents"
What would we do without parents?
I wouldn't want to guess
I know that without them
I'd be in a terrible mess
And yeah, they raised me up to be
Just what I am, yeah its me.
I'm not the greatest daughter they have,
But I'm their only one, I ain't that bad.
And I love them more than they know.
That's why I'm writing this poem,
To tell them so.
It wasn't the poem of the century but my parents, especially my mother, treasured it in her heart. She took the poem, burned the edges for decoration and mounted it onto a piece of wood with clear epoxy. She burned the date onto the back of the wood, put a hook in it and hung it on their bedroom wall. After she died I took the mounted poem home to keep as a keepsake. The expression of my heart meant the world to my mother because I honored her through my creative writing and it meant something special to both of my parents. Mom is part of who I am today and because of my mother, I continue to use the creative gifts given to me.
My mother was an artist. She painted pictures with oil paints and watercolor. My mother was always impressed by my ability to write poetry, stories and extremely descriptive letters. When she was dying, I sat down beside her and wrote in my journal from my heart. She turned to me and asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm painting a memory of you with words." "Oh," she said, "I always wondered how you did that."
This is dedicated to my mother, Irma, who continues to inspire me.
I remember songs that explained how wonderful mothers are, "M is for the millions things she gives me, O is for"....well, you get the picture.
My version that I wrote today....
M is for the many times you nagged me
O is for my obvious replies
T is for the tantrums I threw to get my way
H is for the hard times when you made me cry
E is for the eternal time I was grounded
R is for the running away I promised you I'd do
put them all together, they spell M-O-T-H-E-R,
If she were alive today I'd hug and say 'Thank You'!
My children, Haylie & Coley, two kids that really make me proud. I am truly blessed to now have finally made it from "ma-ma", to "mommy", to "mom", and now to honorable title of "mother". They surpass themselves in showing me their love each year they grow as parents too. Sorry, kids, but I was beginning to wonder (just like my mother did with me) if you would finally get there. Its that place where you know they just get it finally. All your blood, sweat, tears and prayers are finally understood. Its not easy being a parent, especially a mother.
For mothers, the learning process is continual. We have to learn to let go of the apron strings, to butt out of your lives, to let you find out for yourself through your own mistakes. Although we would love to hear from you a couple of times each week if not more, telling us what new thing you've learned or what you've been going through, we Mother's of adult children, take whatever we can get from you now.
We're still here anytime you need us. Nothing would make us any happier than to be needed once in awhile, a little advice asked for would be like whipped cream on top of a well baked dessert that took all day to make. We are proud that you're handling life but here's a little secret I'll share. Mother's really don't stop worrying about their kids no matter how old you become, we just finally learn there isn't a darn thing we can do about it anymore so we just pray for you every day and leave you in God's hands.
Thank God for daughter-in-law's who influence their husbands to honor their mother. I'm sure my mother-in-law thanks me and my husband does too. He isn't working alone to find ways of showing his mom he loves her because he's got me there to help. Women know how to speak 'woman to woman' best. My son is pretty good about calling me and keeping in touch. He is very caring and keeps me updated on the growth of my grandson, which makes me happy. My daughter-in-law helps my son look good with her support. The two of them are really good about showing their appreciation and love for me. I feel truly honored and blessed to have gained another daughter who has brought out the best in my son. I feel sorry for men who don't have the help of a wife or girlfriend to pick out a mother's day gift.
And to my daughter -- didn't I tell you that you'd make a good mother someday? You had nothing to worry about. I always believed in you. I knew you had it in you because I turned out to be ok as a Mom and you're turning out just fine as a Mom too. In fact, I think you're doing a much better job than I would have in your circumstances. I'm so proud of you. Mother's and daughters don't really understand and appreciate each other that much until they are both older and wiser. Many times they often becomes best friends. That's what happened between my mother and me and now my daughter and I have a bonded friendship that we grew into. We finally 'get' each other now. I feel like I am learning from my daughter most of the time. To really appreciate each other it seems our relationship grows most living 1700 miles apart.
Other than Dr. Spock (not Leonard Nimoy), nobody wrote parental "how to" books i\\\ you into the perfect mother. Spock's book was more about helping the mother to ensure the baby survived the new inexperienced mother. Now we've got the Supernanny! She is about making sure you don't go insane and raise delinquents.
Before I close this blog message about honoring mothers, I would like to share a poem that I wrote for my parents in 1978 when I was a young mother myself.
"My Parents"
What would we do without parents?
I wouldn't want to guess
I know that without them
I'd be in a terrible mess
And yeah, they raised me up to be
Just what I am, yeah its me.
I'm not the greatest daughter they have,
But I'm their only one, I ain't that bad.
And I love them more than they know.
That's why I'm writing this poem,
To tell them so.
It wasn't the poem of the century but my parents, especially my mother, treasured it in her heart. She took the poem, burned the edges for decoration and mounted it onto a piece of wood with clear epoxy. She burned the date onto the back of the wood, put a hook in it and hung it on their bedroom wall. After she died I took the mounted poem home to keep as a keepsake. The expression of my heart meant the world to my mother because I honored her through my creative writing and it meant something special to both of my parents. Mom is part of who I am today and because of my mother, I continue to use the creative gifts given to me.
My mother was an artist. She painted pictures with oil paints and watercolor. My mother was always impressed by my ability to write poetry, stories and extremely descriptive letters. When she was dying, I sat down beside her and wrote in my journal from my heart. She turned to me and asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm painting a memory of you with words." "Oh," she said, "I always wondered how you did that."
This is dedicated to my mother, Irma, who continues to inspire me.
5/2/09
Renewed Appreciation
Are you content with what you have?
How do you get a new car on an old budget? You buy a set of new seat covers, different than the color of the current seats of course. Then you buy a padded steering wheel cover to match the seat covers. You take your car to the car wash and then drive it home and clean out all the junk and trash. Then you vacuum clean the interior, Windex the windows inside and out and finish it off by wiping it down with Armor All. Don't forget to clean the floor mats and vacuum the trunk.
That is what I did today.
Obviously this isn't the first time I've washed, vacuumed and cleaned out my car but it is the first time I've purchased seat covers $29.99 and a steering wheel cover $14.99. I took it to a car wash $8.00 and the rest was accomplished via good old elbow grease. I was amazed at the final transformation and highly recommending it to anyone who has lost appreciation for their vehicle but can't afford to replace it with a new one.
This was the best and smartest way to get a "new" car for only $53.00 plus tax. That's wisdom! That's appreciation for what you do have.
How do you get a new car on an old budget? You buy a set of new seat covers, different than the color of the current seats of course. Then you buy a padded steering wheel cover to match the seat covers. You take your car to the car wash and then drive it home and clean out all the junk and trash. Then you vacuum clean the interior, Windex the windows inside and out and finish it off by wiping it down with Armor All. Don't forget to clean the floor mats and vacuum the trunk.
That is what I did today.
Obviously this isn't the first time I've washed, vacuumed and cleaned out my car but it is the first time I've purchased seat covers $29.99 and a steering wheel cover $14.99. I took it to a car wash $8.00 and the rest was accomplished via good old elbow grease. I was amazed at the final transformation and highly recommending it to anyone who has lost appreciation for their vehicle but can't afford to replace it with a new one.
This was the best and smartest way to get a "new" car for only $53.00 plus tax. That's wisdom! That's appreciation for what you do have.
4/25/09
Reasons to Quit Smoking
Almost 5 months and I'm still nicotine free!
My list of things I don't miss when I quit smoking Dec. 5, 2008
I don't miss.....
1. Ashtray taste in my mouth
2. Bad breath
3. Cravings (addiction controlling me) & coughing up stuff you don't want to see coming out of another human being.
4. Dehydration
5. Elevated bloodpressure
6. Fewer chances of getting cancer or other health issues
7. Going outside in winter for a smoke
8. Headaches
9. Insomnia
10. January resolutions to try again
11. Killing myself slowly with every puff
12. Lungs that hurt when I exercise
13. Money wasted on the cost to inhale a burning, toxic "cancer stick"
14. Nausea
15. Only hanging out with other friends who also are chained to a butt
16. Polluting the air with second-hand smoke
17. Quitting continually -- withdrawal -- buying 'the patch' or 'the gum'
18. Run-down feeling with no energy
19. Stinking like crap
20. Under the weather with weakened immune system
21. Very often irritable especially if I don't have a smoke.
22. Waking up and dragging myself out of bed to have that first drag in the morning with coffee.
23. X-Y-Z (beginning letters of chemicals I'm sure are in cigarettes)
My list of things I don't miss when I quit smoking Dec. 5, 2008
I don't miss.....
1. Ashtray taste in my mouth
2. Bad breath
3. Cravings (addiction controlling me) & coughing up stuff you don't want to see coming out of another human being.
4. Dehydration
5. Elevated bloodpressure
6. Fewer chances of getting cancer or other health issues
7. Going outside in winter for a smoke
8. Headaches
9. Insomnia
10. January resolutions to try again
11. Killing myself slowly with every puff
12. Lungs that hurt when I exercise
13. Money wasted on the cost to inhale a burning, toxic "cancer stick"
14. Nausea
15. Only hanging out with other friends who also are chained to a butt
16. Polluting the air with second-hand smoke
17. Quitting continually -- withdrawal -- buying 'the patch' or 'the gum'
18. Run-down feeling with no energy
19. Stinking like crap
20. Under the weather with weakened immune system
21. Very often irritable especially if I don't have a smoke.
22. Waking up and dragging myself out of bed to have that first drag in the morning with coffee.
23. X-Y-Z (beginning letters of chemicals I'm sure are in cigarettes)
Complaining
Last week two of my friends and I started meeting regularly together for a Bible study of a book called "Lord, Change My Attitude: Before Its Too Late" by James MacDonald. This week the lesson is about complaining.
I have to tell you getting through this week without complaining just has not been possible for me, so consider this another…complaint about complaining. Ha! Ha!
Seriously, it has been a very eye opening experience as I've been working through the workbook!!! I will tell you that this week God used a co-worker to open my eyes about my complaining attitude that I didn't see in me. It was quite shocking!
My co-worker basically told me that when I'm at work and behind my desk/computer, filling my role and duties as Admin Supervisor in the Accounting Department, that I'm so different and not someone pleasant to be around because of my attitude. When I'm away from my desk I am great to be around! Then it got me thinking a lot!!!! I had to really reflect and process this.
I was kind of depressed about it at first as I processed it and then I chose to thank God for showing it to me and the next day I thanked her for being honest and telling me the truth. I told her I needed to hear it even though it wasn't pleasant and that I want Jesus to be seen in me no matter which side of the desk I’m on.
Bottom line....I don't deal well with stress and it shows! Its embarrassing because I’ve really been bold in witnessing to my office co-workers and here I am finding another area that can only change through the grace and power of Christ in me. I cried out to God and said, "Jesus I want you to be seen in me whether I'm behind the desk or on the other side of it".
As I was thinking about this and praying, the title of a song I hardly know came to my mind, "Jesus, take the wheel", a song written by Brett James, Hillary Lindsey and Gordie Sampson and was first single from Carrie Underwood's debut album, Some Hearts. As I said, I hardly know this song so I've looked up the lyrics. While I thought about it I just want Jesus to take control of my computer and my desk – to be in charge and keep me calm and aware of my attitude at work.
The lyrics are kind of sad but they are about a woman driving on Christmas Eve with her baby to see family. She had a tough year and a lot on her mind. She wasn’t paying attention and spun out of control in her car. She was so scared she threw her hands up in the air she cried out to God…..
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
God rescued her as she humbled herself and cried out.
God sees our heart and knows our intentions to grow in Him and to be more like Him God is faithful to honor our cry for help. So I'm encouraging myself in the Lord and realizing that God isn’t finished with me yet. There is always hope. He loves us and never gives up on us. God is God and we are his daughters through Christ Jesus. While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Remember that His mercies are new every morning.
Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the God’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Ezekiel 36:22.
It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. It’s because He promised He would and His integrity is at stake. It was an eternal and unconditional promise and their worthiness is not at issue.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Char
My prayer, "Lord don't let me wander in the wilderness due to complaining, please set me on the right course and renew a right spirit within me. Set my feet to dancing and my heart to rejoicing. Help me to have an attitude of gratitude no matter what my situation.
I have to tell you getting through this week without complaining just has not been possible for me, so consider this another…complaint about complaining. Ha! Ha!
Seriously, it has been a very eye opening experience as I've been working through the workbook!!! I will tell you that this week God used a co-worker to open my eyes about my complaining attitude that I didn't see in me. It was quite shocking!
My co-worker basically told me that when I'm at work and behind my desk/computer, filling my role and duties as Admin Supervisor in the Accounting Department, that I'm so different and not someone pleasant to be around because of my attitude. When I'm away from my desk I am great to be around! Then it got me thinking a lot!!!! I had to really reflect and process this.
I was kind of depressed about it at first as I processed it and then I chose to thank God for showing it to me and the next day I thanked her for being honest and telling me the truth. I told her I needed to hear it even though it wasn't pleasant and that I want Jesus to be seen in me no matter which side of the desk I’m on.
Bottom line....I don't deal well with stress and it shows! Its embarrassing because I’ve really been bold in witnessing to my office co-workers and here I am finding another area that can only change through the grace and power of Christ in me. I cried out to God and said, "Jesus I want you to be seen in me whether I'm behind the desk or on the other side of it".
As I was thinking about this and praying, the title of a song I hardly know came to my mind, "Jesus, take the wheel", a song written by Brett James, Hillary Lindsey and Gordie Sampson and was first single from Carrie Underwood's debut album, Some Hearts. As I said, I hardly know this song so I've looked up the lyrics. While I thought about it I just want Jesus to take control of my computer and my desk – to be in charge and keep me calm and aware of my attitude at work.
The lyrics are kind of sad but they are about a woman driving on Christmas Eve with her baby to see family. She had a tough year and a lot on her mind. She wasn’t paying attention and spun out of control in her car. She was so scared she threw her hands up in the air she cried out to God…..
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
God rescued her as she humbled herself and cried out.
God sees our heart and knows our intentions to grow in Him and to be more like Him God is faithful to honor our cry for help. So I'm encouraging myself in the Lord and realizing that God isn’t finished with me yet. There is always hope. He loves us and never gives up on us. God is God and we are his daughters through Christ Jesus. While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Remember that His mercies are new every morning.
Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the God’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Ezekiel 36:22.
It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. It’s because He promised He would and His integrity is at stake. It was an eternal and unconditional promise and their worthiness is not at issue.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Char
My prayer, "Lord don't let me wander in the wilderness due to complaining, please set me on the right course and renew a right spirit within me. Set my feet to dancing and my heart to rejoicing. Help me to have an attitude of gratitude no matter what my situation.
4/22/09
Love
"Love can change the heart of any man". This is the phrase, almost a promise, that was running through my head when I awoke this morning. I thought to myself how powerful love is...real love, God's love, God is love. Love is a commitment, a choice, a decision not an emotion, although we can feel loved. We can feel the emotions that lead us to love but this is why so many people are confused by love or have no stamina in their relationships. "I don't love you anymore", means I changed my mind, my commitment, my choice is not to love you anymore because my feelings have changed toward you. Something changed in me. Those are frightening words to hear in a relationship because its very hard to get things back to where they were. I'm not saying it can't be done for it is possible but it will take hard work and commitment from both parties to make it together. This is why relationships fail.
If people are not willing to lay down their lives for the ones they love, then they won't work hard at the relationships that are in trouble. Sometimes, depending upon the type of relationship, its best to walk away and let it die. Not all "relationships" are meant to continue. I've had friendships that ended for the best because it was a toxic relationship. I've experienced relationships that changed beyond any power of my own and the choice was not mine to walk away, therefore I had to accept it and let it go.
Marriage is a sacred thing, a covenant, which many of us do not fully understand the meaning of that word as God meant it to be, however, in today's world it is far too easy to get a divorce. I am so thankful that I have a marriage now that I hold sacred in my heart and am committed to. I am loved and I love. We both work at it, of course, I feel I work at it harder (women alway believe that and its usually true), but there was a time in my life that two failed marriages almost destroyed any faith or hope I might have in finding the love of my life. I had to grow up and maybe he did too -- then we met and are working at our marriage because we are committed to one another.
I am praying for my spouse because I believe the statement I heard in my mind this morning when I awoke. I know that God has the ability and power and desire to change us and not leave us as we are. "Love can change the heart of any man"
Char
****
"There are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all" (1Corinthians 12:6). And it is God Himself Who assuredly promises to anyone who will take Him at His Word, "26 A NEW HEART WILL I GIVE YOU, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. 27 And I WILL PUT MY SPIRIT WITHIN YOU, and CAUSE you to walk in My Statutes, and ye shall KEEP My Judgments, and DO them" (Ezekiel 36:26-27).
http://www.whatsaiththescripture.com/Fellowship/God.Can.Change.A.Heart.html
And when it comes to man's impenitent heart, frozen in obstinacy, God has provided all that can possibly ever be provided to change that heart. "For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestin to be conformed to the Image of His Son" (Romans 8:29). But when one of the LORD's people knows how to plead the Promises of the Word of God as a mighty praying warrior, an intercessor, whether they be a spouse, a child, a friend, or even a stranger, bringing the name and destiny of a needy soul before the Father's Throne, with our Most Holy Advocate (1John 2:1) and Divine Intercessor (Romans 8:34)-- "Jesus Christ the Righteous" (1John 2:1)-- Himself, presenting the case in the Absolute Language of God's Own Word-- then "HE CANNOT DENY HIMSELF" (2Timothy 2:13). "The Words that I speak unto you I speak not of Myself:but the Father that dwelleth in Me,He doeth the Works"(John 14:10).
If people are not willing to lay down their lives for the ones they love, then they won't work hard at the relationships that are in trouble. Sometimes, depending upon the type of relationship, its best to walk away and let it die. Not all "relationships" are meant to continue. I've had friendships that ended for the best because it was a toxic relationship. I've experienced relationships that changed beyond any power of my own and the choice was not mine to walk away, therefore I had to accept it and let it go.
Marriage is a sacred thing, a covenant, which many of us do not fully understand the meaning of that word as God meant it to be, however, in today's world it is far too easy to get a divorce. I am so thankful that I have a marriage now that I hold sacred in my heart and am committed to. I am loved and I love. We both work at it, of course, I feel I work at it harder (women alway believe that and its usually true), but there was a time in my life that two failed marriages almost destroyed any faith or hope I might have in finding the love of my life. I had to grow up and maybe he did too -- then we met and are working at our marriage because we are committed to one another.
I am praying for my spouse because I believe the statement I heard in my mind this morning when I awoke. I know that God has the ability and power and desire to change us and not leave us as we are. "Love can change the heart of any man"
Char
****
"There are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all" (1Corinthians 12:6). And it is God Himself Who assuredly promises to anyone who will take Him at His Word, "26 A NEW HEART WILL I GIVE YOU, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. 27 And I WILL PUT MY SPIRIT WITHIN YOU, and CAUSE you to walk in My Statutes, and ye shall KEEP My Judgments, and DO them" (Ezekiel 36:26-27).
http://www.whatsaiththescripture.com/Fellowship/God.Can.Change.A.Heart.html
And when it comes to man's impenitent heart, frozen in obstinacy, God has provided all that can possibly ever be provided to change that heart. "For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestin to be conformed to the Image of His Son" (Romans 8:29). But when one of the LORD's people knows how to plead the Promises of the Word of God as a mighty praying warrior, an intercessor, whether they be a spouse, a child, a friend, or even a stranger, bringing the name and destiny of a needy soul before the Father's Throne, with our Most Holy Advocate (1John 2:1) and Divine Intercessor (Romans 8:34)-- "Jesus Christ the Righteous" (1John 2:1)-- Himself, presenting the case in the Absolute Language of God's Own Word-- then "HE CANNOT DENY HIMSELF" (2Timothy 2:13). "The Words that I speak unto you I speak not of Myself:but the Father that dwelleth in Me,He doeth the Works"(John 14:10).
4/19/09
35 years later
35 years ago today I was walking down the isle of a Nazarene church getting married for the very first time in my life at the age of 18 to a young man I hardly knew. I didn't even know who I was or what I wanted except that I thought I loved him, wanted to be married and to have a baby.
One month later, in May 1974 after getting married, I got pregnant. In November, right around my birthday, we moved to Western Kansas. I gave birth to my first child in February at the young age of 19.
Three years later we were still living in Western Kansas. I had a lot of bad experiences and wanted out of my marriage. My life wasn't what I had planned but in July 1978 I gave birth to a son this time. I was 22 years old, unhappily married, two small children to care for and living 6 hours from home without my family.
Now, here I am 35 years later living in another country, thousands of miles from my home and family, happily married at the age of 53, knowing who I am and why I am here. Knowing my purpose is to encourage the body of Christ, spread the gospel, bring joy and courage to the hearts of people and to love them, I live to be a blessing and to follow Christ.
Charlotte
One month later, in May 1974 after getting married, I got pregnant. In November, right around my birthday, we moved to Western Kansas. I gave birth to my first child in February at the young age of 19.
Three years later we were still living in Western Kansas. I had a lot of bad experiences and wanted out of my marriage. My life wasn't what I had planned but in July 1978 I gave birth to a son this time. I was 22 years old, unhappily married, two small children to care for and living 6 hours from home without my family.
Now, here I am 35 years later living in another country, thousands of miles from my home and family, happily married at the age of 53, knowing who I am and why I am here. Knowing my purpose is to encourage the body of Christ, spread the gospel, bring joy and courage to the hearts of people and to love them, I live to be a blessing and to follow Christ.
Charlotte
4/18/09
Signs
Well it has been confirmed. Spring is here! We are in the midst of it. The birds are building their nests. My tulips are coming up, several are 6 - 8 inches out of the ground already. It is only a matter of time before they will be blooming. I've even heard the sound of lawnmowers around the neighborhood and have witnessed raking of the yards. Therefore the signs of Spring is certain.
True, we might have a day where the weather gets colder and we could still have a light snowfall, but even with that chance, we know that Winter is past. The season has changed.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is an appointed time for everything...to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
It is very clearly evident if you look at the signs of the times, that our Lord's coming is drawing near. The birth pains and the signs of the times should motivate all of us who call ourselves "Christian" to sit up and take notice, to stand up and be counted, to no longer shut up but to share God's sacrificial love to as many as we can in the time that we have left. The King is returning! Very Soon He Will Arrive.
True, we might have a day where the weather gets colder and we could still have a light snowfall, but even with that chance, we know that Winter is past. The season has changed.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is an appointed time for everything...to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
It is very clearly evident if you look at the signs of the times, that our Lord's coming is drawing near. The birth pains and the signs of the times should motivate all of us who call ourselves "Christian" to sit up and take notice, to stand up and be counted, to no longer shut up but to share God's sacrificial love to as many as we can in the time that we have left. The King is returning! Very Soon He Will Arrive.
4/11/09
Easter
Easter memories. As a child I remember dying hard-boiled eggs in vinegar and food coloring. My fingertips were different colors as a result. Then I added stickers to each egg, drew on them with crayons gently, or some other creative method to embellish the egg. When they were done I placed them in a basket of shining, shredded plastic fake grass. That's all I remember about that, except getting to eat them evidently. I also remember finding a basket on our doorstep left by the Easter bunny full of chocolate Easter bunnies to be eaten and a basket of fake plastic eggs full of candies.
I remember something called "peeps" that were marshmallow candies in the shape of rabbits and baby chickens. I remember baking cakes with my mom for Easter. The cakes started out looking like an ordinary round layer cake decorated with shredded coconut that had been shaken in a jar of green food coloring to make the coconut look like grass. Then I sprinkled it all over the cake and put jelly beans on the top to look like eggs. Later on the cakes became more creative as they were cut into patterns and then re-assembled with toothpicks to look like a rabbit. Each year we tried this the cake came out different.
I remember my mother and I going shopping for new Easter dresses and shoes. We would go to church together somewhere for certain. I loved it. Later on church on Easter became plays and skits that I would hope would entice my parents to come to church. I would like to believe my father came but I can only remember his strong aversion to church. He only went for weddings and funerals. I don't think he went to my church plays, musical, or readings. At least I only remember the hope and then disappointment so I don't remember him coming.
As a teebager and young adult I remember going to Easter sunrise services to understand clearly the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Now that I am 53, living in the year 2009, I realize also how important it is when it comes to religion. No other faith celebrates the resurrection of their god they believe in and follow his teachings. That is because the man they worship, no matter how great a man he was, is still buried in a tomb or grave. The entire faith of Christianity is based on the power of the resurrection. Jesus is alive and is coming again for his church as he promised.
Easter celebrates life because it is spring time and everything is starting to arise, however the most important seed to arise is the one that was buried as a sacrificial body for the sin of mankind...planted in death, comes again in life. That is why the symbolism of baptism, buried with Christ and coming up out of the water, we have arisen with Christ by faith, a new creation. The seed of Abraham has arisen and taken his rightful place seated at the right hand of the Father. Jesus awaits until he is given the word to go and get his church and bring them to the Father. Jesus Christ is the way, the only way to the Father. "In my Father's home [heaven] there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I [Jesus] am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me" (John 14:2-3, NIV).
I have my hope in the resurrection of Christ, for without that the Bible is a lie. The witnesses that saw the empty grave, saw him walk through walls, saw him appear in the middle of a room, saw the holes in his hands and feet, saw him changed, saw him stand on the mount of Olives and raise into mid air ascending upward toward heaven. These accounts were recorded for all history and then there is the empty tomb in Jerusalem. I don't have to go there to see it to believe it and that is why it is faith. I feel sorry for those who choose nothing to believe in or who are following a dead god and religion that will never understand grace.
This Easter is a very real passion arising in me because I believe with all my heart that Jesus is coming back and he is coming very soon.
I remember something called "peeps" that were marshmallow candies in the shape of rabbits and baby chickens. I remember baking cakes with my mom for Easter. The cakes started out looking like an ordinary round layer cake decorated with shredded coconut that had been shaken in a jar of green food coloring to make the coconut look like grass. Then I sprinkled it all over the cake and put jelly beans on the top to look like eggs. Later on the cakes became more creative as they were cut into patterns and then re-assembled with toothpicks to look like a rabbit. Each year we tried this the cake came out different.
I remember my mother and I going shopping for new Easter dresses and shoes. We would go to church together somewhere for certain. I loved it. Later on church on Easter became plays and skits that I would hope would entice my parents to come to church. I would like to believe my father came but I can only remember his strong aversion to church. He only went for weddings and funerals. I don't think he went to my church plays, musical, or readings. At least I only remember the hope and then disappointment so I don't remember him coming.
As a teebager and young adult I remember going to Easter sunrise services to understand clearly the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Now that I am 53, living in the year 2009, I realize also how important it is when it comes to religion. No other faith celebrates the resurrection of their god they believe in and follow his teachings. That is because the man they worship, no matter how great a man he was, is still buried in a tomb or grave. The entire faith of Christianity is based on the power of the resurrection. Jesus is alive and is coming again for his church as he promised.
Easter celebrates life because it is spring time and everything is starting to arise, however the most important seed to arise is the one that was buried as a sacrificial body for the sin of mankind...planted in death, comes again in life. That is why the symbolism of baptism, buried with Christ and coming up out of the water, we have arisen with Christ by faith, a new creation. The seed of Abraham has arisen and taken his rightful place seated at the right hand of the Father. Jesus awaits until he is given the word to go and get his church and bring them to the Father. Jesus Christ is the way, the only way to the Father. "In my Father's home [heaven] there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I [Jesus] am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me" (John 14:2-3, NIV).
I have my hope in the resurrection of Christ, for without that the Bible is a lie. The witnesses that saw the empty grave, saw him walk through walls, saw him appear in the middle of a room, saw the holes in his hands and feet, saw him changed, saw him stand on the mount of Olives and raise into mid air ascending upward toward heaven. These accounts were recorded for all history and then there is the empty tomb in Jerusalem. I don't have to go there to see it to believe it and that is why it is faith. I feel sorry for those who choose nothing to believe in or who are following a dead god and religion that will never understand grace.
This Easter is a very real passion arising in me because I believe with all my heart that Jesus is coming back and he is coming very soon.
4/2/09
Memories of Momma
October 21st, 1999 (one month later)
I just miss her so much and I feel like nobody understands. I feel like everyone including my husband expects me to just move forward with my life. I have feelings that I never get to express even when it is just through tears or mind numbing and motionless wandering through the house. This isn't about my mother -- I'm not sad for her, I'm sad for me. I know she wouldn't want this for me but she is gone now and I want to feel and express my own personal sadness and my own personal loss. I'm afraid of getting really depressed but I'm afraid of what will happen to me if I don't let myself feel the grief. Why should I have to pretend I'm happy or "okay" just so other people aren't uncomfortable? I don't feel "okay". I miss her. I feel like there is a big hole inside of me -- an empty spot. Something is missing in my world -- in me, my mom is gone from my life. I'm not mourning her death because it was beautiful and truly I know exactly where she is --she is not missing. No, I grieve and mourn her loss from my life. I am the one left behind to feel the void of her presence.
I remember God telling me the night she died that whenever I want to talk to her all I have to do is write a letter and talk to her. So I will try that.
Hi, Mom. I'm here in my house typing on the computer. I miss you so much. I want to hear your voice talking to me and I want to feel your arms around me. I don't want to feel sad but I miss you so much every day. I think of you every time I turn around. The seasons have changed, it is fall here now. That was your favorite time of the year. I bought a CD the other day that you would have liked -- called "Windsong". It’s all full of nature sounds and beautiful, soft soothing music that reminds me of you. I feel close to you when I listen to it. I feel like my momma is holding me and stroking my hair and hugging me. I've been wearing your rings and your clothes. I talked to Dad this week. He misses you so much. He said, "I miss that woman every day." I feel so sorry for him but I honestly think he is doing better than I am. I know I'll get there! It will just take time! I have to give myself time to heal. I wish I could pick up the phone and call you. I wish I had taped our phone calls. I wish I had video taped your visit here for our wedding. I'm so glad you got to come to my wedding, Momma. It’s like God allowed the timing to be right so that you could have this time here with us in Canada. I wish we would have had more time together here. I wish we would have planned it sooner or somehow earlier so that you would have felt better before the cancer began taking over your body so quickly. I'm so glad we squeezed in those moments in our life together. I'm so glad you held me in your arms in the swimming pool at Canyon Hot Springs. I'm so glad you got to be part of our wedding and get to know Brian a little. I'm so glad you made your last quilt for me.
I'm so glad you got to see the mountains and the sights of Calgary. I'm so glad I got to come home and take care of you and spend time with you alone without Dad or anyone else. I remember the nights we would sit together working on projects and laughing about things -- oh God, how I wish we could have frozen time and stretched those moments in time. I would have liked to wave a wand and frozen everyone so that just you and I could fly away together like we did when we went camping one summer. I think that was my most memorable time alone with you that I will cherish. I've got to dig out my video tapes and watch them again.
I'm going to say goodbye for a little while now. Until the next time......
Love,
Charlotte
I just miss her so much and I feel like nobody understands. I feel like everyone including my husband expects me to just move forward with my life. I have feelings that I never get to express even when it is just through tears or mind numbing and motionless wandering through the house. This isn't about my mother -- I'm not sad for her, I'm sad for me. I know she wouldn't want this for me but she is gone now and I want to feel and express my own personal sadness and my own personal loss. I'm afraid of getting really depressed but I'm afraid of what will happen to me if I don't let myself feel the grief. Why should I have to pretend I'm happy or "okay" just so other people aren't uncomfortable? I don't feel "okay". I miss her. I feel like there is a big hole inside of me -- an empty spot. Something is missing in my world -- in me, my mom is gone from my life. I'm not mourning her death because it was beautiful and truly I know exactly where she is --she is not missing. No, I grieve and mourn her loss from my life. I am the one left behind to feel the void of her presence.
I remember God telling me the night she died that whenever I want to talk to her all I have to do is write a letter and talk to her. So I will try that.
Hi, Mom. I'm here in my house typing on the computer. I miss you so much. I want to hear your voice talking to me and I want to feel your arms around me. I don't want to feel sad but I miss you so much every day. I think of you every time I turn around. The seasons have changed, it is fall here now. That was your favorite time of the year. I bought a CD the other day that you would have liked -- called "Windsong". It’s all full of nature sounds and beautiful, soft soothing music that reminds me of you. I feel close to you when I listen to it. I feel like my momma is holding me and stroking my hair and hugging me. I've been wearing your rings and your clothes. I talked to Dad this week. He misses you so much. He said, "I miss that woman every day." I feel so sorry for him but I honestly think he is doing better than I am. I know I'll get there! It will just take time! I have to give myself time to heal. I wish I could pick up the phone and call you. I wish I had taped our phone calls. I wish I had video taped your visit here for our wedding. I'm so glad you got to come to my wedding, Momma. It’s like God allowed the timing to be right so that you could have this time here with us in Canada. I wish we would have had more time together here. I wish we would have planned it sooner or somehow earlier so that you would have felt better before the cancer began taking over your body so quickly. I'm so glad we squeezed in those moments in our life together. I'm so glad you held me in your arms in the swimming pool at Canyon Hot Springs. I'm so glad you got to be part of our wedding and get to know Brian a little. I'm so glad you made your last quilt for me.
I'm so glad you got to see the mountains and the sights of Calgary. I'm so glad I got to come home and take care of you and spend time with you alone without Dad or anyone else. I remember the nights we would sit together working on projects and laughing about things -- oh God, how I wish we could have frozen time and stretched those moments in time. I would have liked to wave a wand and frozen everyone so that just you and I could fly away together like we did when we went camping one summer. I think that was my most memorable time alone with you that I will cherish. I've got to dig out my video tapes and watch them again.
I'm going to say goodbye for a little while now. Until the next time......
Love,
Charlotte
Hope
While having my morning coffee I suddenly heard a sound that caused my heart to beat faster as a joy began to rise up within in me. That sound was the sound of hope. What does hope sound like. Well, let me describe it.
After a long, cold winter here in Canada, as I sit snuggled inside my house knowing that several inches of snow still remain in my backyard, I suddenly hear the first sound of spring. Robins singing!!!! The Robin's beautiful chirping makes me jump for joy because the silence has been broken and hope has arisen in my heart that Spring is just around the corner.
Though I don't see Spring yet and it still looks and feel a bit like Winter, especially some days worse than others, I have hope that Spring is just around the corner. Nature knows --- I believe this, to watch the signs of the times, the changing of the seasons -- so watching and listening, I have hope because the sound of Spring has been heard.
Hebrews 11:1 (various translations)
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.(KJV)
Faith assures us of things we expect and convinces us of the existence of things we cannot see. (God's Word translation 1995)
Now faith is a well-grounded assurance of that for which we hope, and a conviction of the reality of things which we do not see. (Weymouth)
After a long, cold winter here in Canada, as I sit snuggled inside my house knowing that several inches of snow still remain in my backyard, I suddenly hear the first sound of spring. Robins singing!!!! The Robin's beautiful chirping makes me jump for joy because the silence has been broken and hope has arisen in my heart that Spring is just around the corner.
Though I don't see Spring yet and it still looks and feel a bit like Winter, especially some days worse than others, I have hope that Spring is just around the corner. Nature knows --- I believe this, to watch the signs of the times, the changing of the seasons -- so watching and listening, I have hope because the sound of Spring has been heard.
Hebrews 11:1 (various translations)
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.(KJV)
Faith assures us of things we expect and convinces us of the existence of things we cannot see. (God's Word translation 1995)
Now faith is a well-grounded assurance of that for which we hope, and a conviction of the reality of things which we do not see. (Weymouth)
3/30/09
Watchman
March 2009
My husband and I went to a movie the other night. It was a secular movie about the end times. I hope that you are open minded while knowing what you believe in. I hope you can recognize that God can use anything or anyone to accomplish his purpose. In this last hour, this last final push, we will probably see a lot of unusual ‘tools’ God will use. Anyway, my husband and I went to see this movie, “Knowing” starring Nicholas Cage. It is a gripping action-thriller science-fiction movie of global proportions about a professor who stumbles on terrifying predictions about the future and sets out to prevent them from coming true. He has experienced a loss of large magnitude in his life and is estranged from his father, a minister, so therefore the professor (Nicholas Cage) is angry at God and no longer believes in God now believing everything is coincidence.
“Knowing”
Warning! This synopsis contains spoilers: In 1959, as part of the dedication ceremony for a new elementary school, a group of students is asked to draw pictures to be stored in a time capsule. But one mysterious girl fills her sheet of paper with rows of apparently random numbers instead.
Fifty years later, a new generation of students examines the capsules contents and the girls cryptic message ends up in the hands of young CALEB MYLES. But it is Calebs father, professor TED MYLES (Nicolas Cage), who makes the startling discovery that the encoded message predicts with pinpoint accuracy the dates, death tolls and coordinates of every major disaster of the past 50 years. As Ted further unravels the documents chilling secrets, he realizes the document foretells three additional events the last of which hints at destruction on a global scale and seems to somehow involve Ted and his son. When Ted’s attempts to alert the authorities fall on deaf ears, he takes it upon himself to try to prevent more destruction from taking place.
With the reluctant help of DIANA WHELAN and ABBY, the daughter and granddaughter of the now-deceased author of the prophecies, Ted’s increasingly desperate efforts take him on a heart-pounding race against time until he finds himself facing the ultimate disaster and the ultimate sacrifice.
I find it interesting that at the end of the movie, the events cannot be stopped but the people still have the freedom of will to choose what they will believe and most of them do not have time or the ability to save themselves.
One could argue the controversy about the other beings involved in this movie. Were they aliens or angels. The movie leaves you wondering throughout but if you are a follower of Christ and are tuned into the signs of the times, you can see that this movie could be used to open a discussion about the real destruction of earth and mankind as we know it and about the “escape from earth” or rapture.
In fact, at the end of the movie I had to go to the bathroom so I got up and went to stand at the exit so I could be the first one out as soon as the movie was over. There were 3 young people standing there ready to do a fast clean up as soon as the theater was empty. They knew the movie was almost over as well and were in position. So I took opportunity to talk to them for a minute. I witnessed to them that though this was just a movie it was very symbolic of what is coming! They asked a couple of questions and I went on to say that Jesus is returning for those who believe. Those who do not believe in him will be left behind to their own destruction. I told them they should be open minded and search into for themselves but Jesus Christ is returning for those who believe in him. That was the closest opportunity to open a door for God to work and I had to leave it with him.
The other day I followed the opportunity to share the gospel with a friend of mine at work. God moves in mysterious ways. I will say this, after the opportunity to share the good news of Jesus Christ and how to be saved, another opportunity came. It was the opportunity for offense. I got my feelings slightly hurt ….there was also days of confusion and mental oppression, fogginess and fear set in to claim my mind. I prayed for clarity and asked God to heal me. I was afraid but trusted in God. He came through for me. I chose to forgive the offense and prayed for our relationship. I knew that the enemy of God did not want this young woman to see Jesus in me and that the devil wanted to create a rift between us. I knew that this could not happen. I went to work and faced the situation although I was afraid, it worked out and our relationship is better than ever. I know it will be only a matter of time before she will know Him.
Previously before that I felt the opportunity to share the gospel with another co-worker. I missed the opportunity to share it with a woman that God had me praying for. It came and went, I froze, afraid of rejection, I didn’t do it. Since then my brother and sister-in-law died, I don’t know if they were believers. I know that my mother’s cousin, a Baptist minister, led my brother to the Lord before my brother was sent to prison. I sent letters. I stood by him and continued praying for him but in the end, I just don’t know because I never acted on opportunity to say anything.
Now that time is short and I know He is coming I am more serious about speaking up than ever before. I truly believe that I won’t have to worry about growing old. I believe that I will see the Lord soon enough. Whether that is true or not, I have suddenly found enthusiasm and hope to witness again. I know there was a time that I fell away from sharing my testimony because I grew weary. Like the Bible says, we will reap if we do not grow weary in well doing. Every branch that bears fruit I prune. He refuses to leave us the way we are. God I don’t want to miss out on what you have for me. God says do not lean on your own understanding. God is shaking everything that can be shaken. We don’t have time to waste.
I want fruitfulness that will overcome the world. Don’t waste time, energy or money on anything that doesn’t advance toward building the Kingdom of God.
God will finish the work that he began.
In the movie, Knowing, there is a line said by Nicholas Cage that eludes to the end times regarding world disasters, “I know how this sounds, but I’ve mapped these numbers to the dates of every major global disaster from the last 50 years in perfect sequence. Earthquakes, fires, Tsunamis…The next number on the chain predicts that tomorrow, somewhere on this planet, 81 people are going to die in some kind of tragedy.”
The response from his unbelieving friend is also very symbolic of many end times unbelievers…see if this sounds familiar, “Whoa. Just step back. Have another look at it! Systems that find meaning in numbers are a dime in dozen. Why? Because people see what they want to see.”
So basically, you can have all the proof , the character and expertise on the subject but if it is not something they want to hear or that is not conceivable their first response will be unbelief. They simply cannot understand it with their own mind and therefore choose not to believe it.
God has been speaking two subjects from the Bible to me lately.
One is the book of Esther and the courage it took for her to face her fear and be willing to suffer the consequences for what she believed in for the good of others.
The other is about being a watchman for the house of God, warning people before it is too late. Last night I had a dream that I was walking on air high above the ground. I was able to see lot more from this vantage point. I could see what others did not want to see or did not even know was coming. As the dream developed I heard in my spirit in my sleep “watchmen on the wall”…then I could see myself walking along the wall….positioned to watch and declare to those inside the fort if danger was coming.
How do I not know that I was set to be a watchman on the wall (see this website too http://www.watchman.ca) for such a time as this. (Esther and Ezekiel combined). All I know is there must be a way to blow the trumpet and get others too listen. Save as many as you can. The time is short. Leave what is behind and press forward, no time for sorrow, no time for fear, no time to worry, no time to hide, no time to play, be about the Father’s work before it is too late. That is what I feel going on inside me.
Most importantly PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. And read the Word.
Ezekiel 3:17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman to the house of Israel. Therefore hear the Word of my mouth, and give them warning from Me.” "....you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood." Ezekiel 3:18
My husband and I went to a movie the other night. It was a secular movie about the end times. I hope that you are open minded while knowing what you believe in. I hope you can recognize that God can use anything or anyone to accomplish his purpose. In this last hour, this last final push, we will probably see a lot of unusual ‘tools’ God will use. Anyway, my husband and I went to see this movie, “Knowing” starring Nicholas Cage. It is a gripping action-thriller science-fiction movie of global proportions about a professor who stumbles on terrifying predictions about the future and sets out to prevent them from coming true. He has experienced a loss of large magnitude in his life and is estranged from his father, a minister, so therefore the professor (Nicholas Cage) is angry at God and no longer believes in God now believing everything is coincidence.
“Knowing”
Warning! This synopsis contains spoilers: In 1959, as part of the dedication ceremony for a new elementary school, a group of students is asked to draw pictures to be stored in a time capsule. But one mysterious girl fills her sheet of paper with rows of apparently random numbers instead.
Fifty years later, a new generation of students examines the capsules contents and the girls cryptic message ends up in the hands of young CALEB MYLES. But it is Calebs father, professor TED MYLES (Nicolas Cage), who makes the startling discovery that the encoded message predicts with pinpoint accuracy the dates, death tolls and coordinates of every major disaster of the past 50 years. As Ted further unravels the documents chilling secrets, he realizes the document foretells three additional events the last of which hints at destruction on a global scale and seems to somehow involve Ted and his son. When Ted’s attempts to alert the authorities fall on deaf ears, he takes it upon himself to try to prevent more destruction from taking place.
With the reluctant help of DIANA WHELAN and ABBY, the daughter and granddaughter of the now-deceased author of the prophecies, Ted’s increasingly desperate efforts take him on a heart-pounding race against time until he finds himself facing the ultimate disaster and the ultimate sacrifice.
I find it interesting that at the end of the movie, the events cannot be stopped but the people still have the freedom of will to choose what they will believe and most of them do not have time or the ability to save themselves.
One could argue the controversy about the other beings involved in this movie. Were they aliens or angels. The movie leaves you wondering throughout but if you are a follower of Christ and are tuned into the signs of the times, you can see that this movie could be used to open a discussion about the real destruction of earth and mankind as we know it and about the “escape from earth” or rapture.
In fact, at the end of the movie I had to go to the bathroom so I got up and went to stand at the exit so I could be the first one out as soon as the movie was over. There were 3 young people standing there ready to do a fast clean up as soon as the theater was empty. They knew the movie was almost over as well and were in position. So I took opportunity to talk to them for a minute. I witnessed to them that though this was just a movie it was very symbolic of what is coming! They asked a couple of questions and I went on to say that Jesus is returning for those who believe. Those who do not believe in him will be left behind to their own destruction. I told them they should be open minded and search into for themselves but Jesus Christ is returning for those who believe in him. That was the closest opportunity to open a door for God to work and I had to leave it with him.
The other day I followed the opportunity to share the gospel with a friend of mine at work. God moves in mysterious ways. I will say this, after the opportunity to share the good news of Jesus Christ and how to be saved, another opportunity came. It was the opportunity for offense. I got my feelings slightly hurt ….there was also days of confusion and mental oppression, fogginess and fear set in to claim my mind. I prayed for clarity and asked God to heal me. I was afraid but trusted in God. He came through for me. I chose to forgive the offense and prayed for our relationship. I knew that the enemy of God did not want this young woman to see Jesus in me and that the devil wanted to create a rift between us. I knew that this could not happen. I went to work and faced the situation although I was afraid, it worked out and our relationship is better than ever. I know it will be only a matter of time before she will know Him.
Previously before that I felt the opportunity to share the gospel with another co-worker. I missed the opportunity to share it with a woman that God had me praying for. It came and went, I froze, afraid of rejection, I didn’t do it. Since then my brother and sister-in-law died, I don’t know if they were believers. I know that my mother’s cousin, a Baptist minister, led my brother to the Lord before my brother was sent to prison. I sent letters. I stood by him and continued praying for him but in the end, I just don’t know because I never acted on opportunity to say anything.
Now that time is short and I know He is coming I am more serious about speaking up than ever before. I truly believe that I won’t have to worry about growing old. I believe that I will see the Lord soon enough. Whether that is true or not, I have suddenly found enthusiasm and hope to witness again. I know there was a time that I fell away from sharing my testimony because I grew weary. Like the Bible says, we will reap if we do not grow weary in well doing. Every branch that bears fruit I prune. He refuses to leave us the way we are. God I don’t want to miss out on what you have for me. God says do not lean on your own understanding. God is shaking everything that can be shaken. We don’t have time to waste.
I want fruitfulness that will overcome the world. Don’t waste time, energy or money on anything that doesn’t advance toward building the Kingdom of God.
God will finish the work that he began.
In the movie, Knowing, there is a line said by Nicholas Cage that eludes to the end times regarding world disasters, “I know how this sounds, but I’ve mapped these numbers to the dates of every major global disaster from the last 50 years in perfect sequence. Earthquakes, fires, Tsunamis…The next number on the chain predicts that tomorrow, somewhere on this planet, 81 people are going to die in some kind of tragedy.”
The response from his unbelieving friend is also very symbolic of many end times unbelievers…see if this sounds familiar, “Whoa. Just step back. Have another look at it! Systems that find meaning in numbers are a dime in dozen. Why? Because people see what they want to see.”
So basically, you can have all the proof , the character and expertise on the subject but if it is not something they want to hear or that is not conceivable their first response will be unbelief. They simply cannot understand it with their own mind and therefore choose not to believe it.
God has been speaking two subjects from the Bible to me lately.
One is the book of Esther and the courage it took for her to face her fear and be willing to suffer the consequences for what she believed in for the good of others.
The other is about being a watchman for the house of God, warning people before it is too late. Last night I had a dream that I was walking on air high above the ground. I was able to see lot more from this vantage point. I could see what others did not want to see or did not even know was coming. As the dream developed I heard in my spirit in my sleep “watchmen on the wall”…then I could see myself walking along the wall….positioned to watch and declare to those inside the fort if danger was coming.
How do I not know that I was set to be a watchman on the wall (see this website too http://www.watchman.ca) for such a time as this. (Esther and Ezekiel combined). All I know is there must be a way to blow the trumpet and get others too listen. Save as many as you can. The time is short. Leave what is behind and press forward, no time for sorrow, no time for fear, no time to worry, no time to hide, no time to play, be about the Father’s work before it is too late. That is what I feel going on inside me.
Most importantly PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. And read the Word.
Ezekiel 3:17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman to the house of Israel. Therefore hear the Word of my mouth, and give them warning from Me.” "....you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood." Ezekiel 3:18
3/29/09
Relationships
I spent many years hiding from my problems, avoiding confrontations with people and pushing my feelings down with food and other addictions but God in his mercy gave me the grace to work through many of these issues.
I can boast in the Lord and what he has helped me to face in my life. These are some of the things I have learned:
1. Relationships you care about require communication and effort. You might have to confront a misunderstanding or a problem. This may involve unpleasant conversations you would normally avoid but if the relationship is of value to you then you will deal with it. Unlike the famous movie line in the 1970 movie Love Story "love means never having to say your sorry", you will probably have to humble yourself and say you're sorry, admit when you're wrong or the possibility that you could be wrong. Pride is a blockage to the heart of healthy relationships.
2. Relationships are like living things. They require nurturing care. They take time to grow and develop. They need selfless sacrifice at times. They are fed by communication and watered by listening hearts. If you aren't willing to do any of these things you won't have success in your relationships.
Imagine you have a relationship of value. Imagine you are unwilling to listen to that person, unwilling to communicate or share yourself. Imagine you expect the relationship to come built in with trust, respect and loving devotion. Imagine you won't give up anything personal or contribute to the relationship but instead expect the other person to give to you and you are eager to take what is offered. How long do you think this relationship will last? Some people settle for bad relationships but most people do not and sooner or later somebody will want out.
The most important relationship is the one you have with your Creator. He loved you before you knew him and gave something of value as a gift of sacrifice. He gave his sons's life for you and for me. Jesus gave up his life willingly. No greater love than to lay down your own life for your friends.
I can boast in the Lord and what he has helped me to face in my life. These are some of the things I have learned:
1. Relationships you care about require communication and effort. You might have to confront a misunderstanding or a problem. This may involve unpleasant conversations you would normally avoid but if the relationship is of value to you then you will deal with it. Unlike the famous movie line in the 1970 movie Love Story "love means never having to say your sorry", you will probably have to humble yourself and say you're sorry, admit when you're wrong or the possibility that you could be wrong. Pride is a blockage to the heart of healthy relationships.
2. Relationships are like living things. They require nurturing care. They take time to grow and develop. They need selfless sacrifice at times. They are fed by communication and watered by listening hearts. If you aren't willing to do any of these things you won't have success in your relationships.
Imagine you have a relationship of value. Imagine you are unwilling to listen to that person, unwilling to communicate or share yourself. Imagine you expect the relationship to come built in with trust, respect and loving devotion. Imagine you won't give up anything personal or contribute to the relationship but instead expect the other person to give to you and you are eager to take what is offered. How long do you think this relationship will last? Some people settle for bad relationships but most people do not and sooner or later somebody will want out.
The most important relationship is the one you have with your Creator. He loved you before you knew him and gave something of value as a gift of sacrifice. He gave his sons's life for you and for me. Jesus gave up his life willingly. No greater love than to lay down your own life for your friends.
3/27/09
Forgiveness
This morning God reminded me that we have to walk in forgiveness and believe me, if you are trying to love others and share the love of God, there will be opportunity for offense. #1 When offense comes and feelings are hurt, before you act, lay it at the foot of the cross and talk to God about it. Jesus can identify with every root feeling you are experiencing. #2 The choice to overlook an offense brings much more glory to God and opens a door to discuss an issue that will let you express yourself in love. God can lead the conversation but it needs to be addressed. Don't let it fester. Sometimes we can turn away as though it never happened but more than likely we will have to discuss the matter. #3 "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Part of the Lord's prayer and something that is not easy because human beings feel so much. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." That was the hardest prayer prayed to the Father by his son as he was hanging torn and bloodied on a tree meant for criminals. Innocent blood spilled and yet in his tormented pain he could pray for his enemies, "Father, forgive them." *sometimes people don't realize they are trespassing if they are lost*
3/26/09
Strife & Offense
After saying how things were going so great and how I've been able to not feel pulled down to distracting problems, saying that I've been feeling kind of numb lately to many of these daily problems lately blah, blah, blah....well this is what I get for boasting. This week I found out just how numb I am not. Its been a very hard week and I actually feel I got slammed pretty hard affecting both my physical and mental (emotional). My patience and suffering was strained this week when I experienced a misunderstanding at work. Something was said that was accusatory and hurt my feelings.
I am very fond of my co-worker/friend. We've been through a lot together in a very short time and I've actually come out of my comfort zone to risk sharing the good news with her as we've been building our friendship.
I believe there is actually an outside source stirring up strife. In reality people can be influenced so easily and that is why God tells us to guard our hearts. Phillipians 4:6 we are instructed to never worry about anything but instead, in every situation we are to bring our petitions and requests to God through prayer combined with thanksgiving; Phillipians 4:7 Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts (our hearts) and emotions (and minds) through Christ Jesus. This peace will keep us from sinking under the weight of these anxious troubling moments in our lives, keeping us calm with inward peace that confidence that makes us at peace and satisfied. One reason is because we as Believers in Christ are to get and keep a good name (a good reputation); a name for good things with God and good men.
I know the actual one behind the accusation is really the dark Accuser (Rev 12:10). Really the devil tries to thwart God's plan and put a wedge between us and God and between us and mankind, especially when we are interceding for a lost soul. Other people, you've known a few I'm sure, are often manipulated by outside forces and they themselves do not recognize their own influence and attempts to manipulate other people. I know of one particular person who may be involved in my situation as an outside influence. This is why God cautions us to guard our hearts because our peace and our reputation is at stake here. I need to remember that strife and division is a tactic the devil pulls out to bring us down to his level instead of living the Word of God. Interestingly this morning, God impressed me to meditate on 1 Cor. 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Even though my feelings don’t feel like it I know that I am victorious because it is written: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, (not against co-workers or husbands or neighbors) but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.
Then God instructs us "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's. You need not fight in this battle, station yourselves, stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf." Then it says, "tomorrow, go out to face them for the Lord is with you." Notice it didn’t say go home and have a pity party for 2 weeks acting like a whipped puppy, it says go out to face it knowing God is with you!!! In other words, ride into battle and by charging in full force you will see the hand of God. Immediately upon experiencing the hurt I felt I needed to humble myself and apologize for the misunderstanding, which I did. I let it be known that how I was being perceived is not my heart's motive and that I have complete confidence in this person to do their job so there is no battle with me. I did feel I needed to go home and remove myself from the heated zone but in my retreat I am turning to God to strengthen me in my inner man so that tomorrow I can go back to work full of love and faith. I will keep myself in prayer through the evening and saturate myself in the word.
We have to remind the devil that he has no right to act toward a child of God and we refuse to accept anything the devil heaps onto us! (Most of the time we just accept it as an unchangeable reality). When he tries to put doubt or discouragement, or fear, or whatever it is that is troubling you and puts things in your mind like, 'I might as well give up...my husband is never going to be a Christian', or 'my financial situation is in ruin and I'll guess I'll always be stuck in debt'. We don't have to listen to him. God said the devil was a liar, in fact, he IS the father of lies.
In John 8:44 it says: "Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies." Also, in 2 Corinthians I0: 3,4,5 it says: "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful, for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
We are fighting a battle in the spiritual realm, and it is very difficult to keep on keeping on when we do not see what we are fighting. But praise God, we do not have to! He tells us in 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, the battle is not ours, it is His! That is why He tells us not to worry, but to trust Him.
So, the next time doubt, fear, or whatever your problem is that comes into your mind, read through the scriptures listed under the Armor and find one that you can identify with, and tell Satan to leave you alone in the name of Jesus! Take control of your mind, by putting God's Word into it, do not let the devil use it against you. God gave you a mind and told you to work out your Salvation.
I am very fond of my co-worker/friend. We've been through a lot together in a very short time and I've actually come out of my comfort zone to risk sharing the good news with her as we've been building our friendship.
I believe there is actually an outside source stirring up strife. In reality people can be influenced so easily and that is why God tells us to guard our hearts. Phillipians 4:6 we are instructed to never worry about anything but instead, in every situation we are to bring our petitions and requests to God through prayer combined with thanksgiving; Phillipians 4:7 Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts (our hearts) and emotions (and minds) through Christ Jesus. This peace will keep us from sinking under the weight of these anxious troubling moments in our lives, keeping us calm with inward peace that confidence that makes us at peace and satisfied. One reason is because we as Believers in Christ are to get and keep a good name (a good reputation); a name for good things with God and good men.
I know the actual one behind the accusation is really the dark Accuser (Rev 12:10). Really the devil tries to thwart God's plan and put a wedge between us and God and between us and mankind, especially when we are interceding for a lost soul. Other people, you've known a few I'm sure, are often manipulated by outside forces and they themselves do not recognize their own influence and attempts to manipulate other people. I know of one particular person who may be involved in my situation as an outside influence. This is why God cautions us to guard our hearts because our peace and our reputation is at stake here. I need to remember that strife and division is a tactic the devil pulls out to bring us down to his level instead of living the Word of God. Interestingly this morning, God impressed me to meditate on 1 Cor. 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Even though my feelings don’t feel like it I know that I am victorious because it is written: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, (not against co-workers or husbands or neighbors) but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.
Then God instructs us "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's. You need not fight in this battle, station yourselves, stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf." Then it says, "tomorrow, go out to face them for the Lord is with you." Notice it didn’t say go home and have a pity party for 2 weeks acting like a whipped puppy, it says go out to face it knowing God is with you!!! In other words, ride into battle and by charging in full force you will see the hand of God. Immediately upon experiencing the hurt I felt I needed to humble myself and apologize for the misunderstanding, which I did. I let it be known that how I was being perceived is not my heart's motive and that I have complete confidence in this person to do their job so there is no battle with me. I did feel I needed to go home and remove myself from the heated zone but in my retreat I am turning to God to strengthen me in my inner man so that tomorrow I can go back to work full of love and faith. I will keep myself in prayer through the evening and saturate myself in the word.
We have to remind the devil that he has no right to act toward a child of God and we refuse to accept anything the devil heaps onto us! (Most of the time we just accept it as an unchangeable reality). When he tries to put doubt or discouragement, or fear, or whatever it is that is troubling you and puts things in your mind like, 'I might as well give up...my husband is never going to be a Christian', or 'my financial situation is in ruin and I'll guess I'll always be stuck in debt'. We don't have to listen to him. God said the devil was a liar, in fact, he IS the father of lies.
In John 8:44 it says: "Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies." Also, in 2 Corinthians I0: 3,4,5 it says: "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful, for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
We are fighting a battle in the spiritual realm, and it is very difficult to keep on keeping on when we do not see what we are fighting. But praise God, we do not have to! He tells us in 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, the battle is not ours, it is His! That is why He tells us not to worry, but to trust Him.
So, the next time doubt, fear, or whatever your problem is that comes into your mind, read through the scriptures listed under the Armor and find one that you can identify with, and tell Satan to leave you alone in the name of Jesus! Take control of your mind, by putting God's Word into it, do not let the devil use it against you. God gave you a mind and told you to work out your Salvation.
3/22/09
Ladies Retreat - Camp Caroline Memories
So I went to this Christian ladies retreat at Camp Caroline....March 20, 21, 22nd. I received very little sleep but was amazingly refreshed in spirit, mind and even body. I consumed too much food but couldn't get enough of the spiritual food God was providing at the heavenly smorgasbord served by our guest speaker, musician, singer/songwriter Carolyn Arends. My eyes took in the the refreshing scenery in the incredible, inspirational setting of Camp Caroline, which includes that amazing chapel and the frozen moment in time as the setting was like that of a stress free Christmas as large, white flakes of snow fell gently on the evergreen cedars. The cozy fireplace inside the dining hall was always a popular place with its comfortable round sectional sofa. This was an unexpected pleasure and surprise for me a charismatic Christian to be joined with over 200 Baptist sisters at their annual provincial wide Baptist church retreat. It was very humbling experience to surrender myself to God and to experience a spiritually blessed and well organized ladies retreat. I was very impressed. My physical ears took in the awe inspiring music as it ministered to my heart both in my soul and body while my spiritual ears awakened to a freshness that I find I cannot yet explain. I bonded with my friends and acquaintances and made new ones as friendships began to blossom. I was in touch with God and He gave me insight and revelation even within the first seconds that I walked into the building. I knew I was going to grow this weekend in a new life experience with God and my sisters in Christ.
These are just some of the highlights from my weekend
Carolyn Arends. It was truly amazing!!! Check out her blog (angelwrestle.blogspot.com)and her website www.carolynarends.com!
Anyway, it was beautiful weekend and I'm going to write down my life lessons and tell you about it here.
These are just some of the highlights from my weekend
Carolyn Arends. It was truly amazing!!! Check out her blog (angelwrestle.blogspot.com)and her website www.carolynarends.com!
Anyway, it was beautiful weekend and I'm going to write down my life lessons and tell you about it here.
Crossing Over
When it comes time for me to cross over to my new world, this is one of the songs I would like played at my memorial. This is the song played in the movie "Lord of the Rings, Return of the King". It is played at the end of the movie as the credits roll. There is so much about this song that touches my heart. One of the lines in the movie at the end....."I think I'm quite ready for another adventure....". I read somewhere that death is like a ship sailing away toward the sunset and just as it slips from view crossing the horizon, your loved one leaves this temporal world for the eternal. These are the words to Annie Lennox' song "Into the West".
Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.
Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.
Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.
Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.
Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.
Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.
Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.
Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.
3/15/09
Alone
I am tired, weary actually, and am praying, begging that God will hear me and change something for me because I am too tired to do it alone anymore.
What am I talking about? Something as simple as going to church. For the past 50 years I've had to drag people to church with me...my husbands (I've had 3), my children (train a child in the way they should go...), my family -- parents and I'm just tired. I've prayed my family into the kingdom of God. I've stood by them, prayed for them and tried to be an example of Christian faith and love. I've went to church and fought the fight of faith but I'm so bone tired and weary of going it alone that today it hit me hard.
I've been struggling to go to church for months since my health began to diminish due to an accident. Finally, I feel stronger physically but emotionally I'm a wreck. Probably needed to go to church but the effort to get there (45 minute drive) seemed even too much for me. I had a bit of a struggle again (as usual) on Sunday morning with my husband and I had to fight to go to church. I got into the car and started out. I didn't get very far when the tears started pouring out and running down my face.
I began praying to God and weeping harder and harder. I knew I wasn't really going to drive across the city to go to church, not when I wanted to pull over and just throw myself in to God's arms and cry.
The Bible says that God bottles up our tears. He knows our heart's cry. He knows we are weary but says do not faint or grow weary in well doing for you will reap a great reward but I'm just so tired. I am very, very sad today. My emotions are dark and depressed but its more than just a 'today feeling', its more like a load of tears held back inside my heart that can't be held back anymore. I don't want to walk through the next years of my life alone in Christ. I tired of doing it.
Its my fault for loving someone that doesn't really believe in God. He is a good man. He knows there is a God and he believes but the Bible says that even the demons know and believe. We have to go beyond simply knowing and believing, we have to open our heart, cry out to God and ask Him to forgive us our sin by the cleansing blood sacrifice of his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Open the door and invite God into our lives to stay with us, to become the head of our heart's home. Who is the ruler of your heart's home? Is God in charge?
I am crying out to God to change my heart and change my life because obviously there are things to do but I can't fulfill my destiny like this. I need help. I need a help-mate. I need to be part of a 3-stranded cord united with Christ, my husband and me. The road is going to get a lot tougher so I need more than just God's grace to endure and overcome, I need a change of heart and an armor bearer of my own. I need my husband to not only support me but something that has been my heart's desire all my life is to have a Christian husband as my leader and caretaker.
Husband love your wives as Christ loves the church and tend to her as a garden.
For I can't go it alone anymore, God, help me, give me the partner I need on this earth to help me make it through to the end.
Amen, that is my prayer.
What am I talking about? Something as simple as going to church. For the past 50 years I've had to drag people to church with me...my husbands (I've had 3), my children (train a child in the way they should go...), my family -- parents and I'm just tired. I've prayed my family into the kingdom of God. I've stood by them, prayed for them and tried to be an example of Christian faith and love. I've went to church and fought the fight of faith but I'm so bone tired and weary of going it alone that today it hit me hard.
I've been struggling to go to church for months since my health began to diminish due to an accident. Finally, I feel stronger physically but emotionally I'm a wreck. Probably needed to go to church but the effort to get there (45 minute drive) seemed even too much for me. I had a bit of a struggle again (as usual) on Sunday morning with my husband and I had to fight to go to church. I got into the car and started out. I didn't get very far when the tears started pouring out and running down my face.
I began praying to God and weeping harder and harder. I knew I wasn't really going to drive across the city to go to church, not when I wanted to pull over and just throw myself in to God's arms and cry.
The Bible says that God bottles up our tears. He knows our heart's cry. He knows we are weary but says do not faint or grow weary in well doing for you will reap a great reward but I'm just so tired. I am very, very sad today. My emotions are dark and depressed but its more than just a 'today feeling', its more like a load of tears held back inside my heart that can't be held back anymore. I don't want to walk through the next years of my life alone in Christ. I tired of doing it.
Its my fault for loving someone that doesn't really believe in God. He is a good man. He knows there is a God and he believes but the Bible says that even the demons know and believe. We have to go beyond simply knowing and believing, we have to open our heart, cry out to God and ask Him to forgive us our sin by the cleansing blood sacrifice of his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Open the door and invite God into our lives to stay with us, to become the head of our heart's home. Who is the ruler of your heart's home? Is God in charge?
I am crying out to God to change my heart and change my life because obviously there are things to do but I can't fulfill my destiny like this. I need help. I need a help-mate. I need to be part of a 3-stranded cord united with Christ, my husband and me. The road is going to get a lot tougher so I need more than just God's grace to endure and overcome, I need a change of heart and an armor bearer of my own. I need my husband to not only support me but something that has been my heart's desire all my life is to have a Christian husband as my leader and caretaker.
Husband love your wives as Christ loves the church and tend to her as a garden.
For I can't go it alone anymore, God, help me, give me the partner I need on this earth to help me make it through to the end.
Amen, that is my prayer.
2/11/09
Grattitude
Today was a normal day. I've been trying to get back to a "normal" day for almost 2 months. I started my day by coming downstairs and making coffee. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it was to me. For the last 7 weeks, my husband has been taking care of me and doing everything for me. This was the first morning I did what I "normally" would do and it was actually a sign of progress to get "back to normal"....back into a regular routine.
A lot has happened in the last two months. I broke my leg and was only allowed to walk, or rather hop, on one leg for 6 weeks while using a walker or crutches. Now that the cast has been removed, I am forced to re-learn how to walk normally using both legs and feet. The situation has made me realize how fortunate I really am. Some people remain handicapped for a lifetime, while mine was just temporary. It makes me grateful that I can go back to using two legs and that I have all my other body parts needed. I think we should all learn to appreciate what we have instead of taking it for granted that it will always be there, ready and available for us. Of course, that goes for people too. Our health is something we should appreciate and take care of. I'm thankful this year is my year to becoming increasingly healthier. That's what I am suddenly thinking about.
Shortly after I broke my leg, I learned that my brother passed away. He was the last of my family. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely, almost the last of my kind so to speak...the end of a generation. My kids helped me get through the grief. I am very grateful that I have two wonderful children who love me and are there for me when I need them. I'm grateful that they have each other to lean on too. Families should stick together to help one another and my children are like that.
I was inspired to create a memorial website to honor my brother's memory. I'm grateful for having him in my life even though he was my much older brother. We grew closer in the last 15 years, especially the last 10 years. I'm so grateful that I have some really good memories of him to hold onto.
While I was off work waiting on my leg to heal, my employer paid me for this time off. That is a favor I certainly didn't expect but am very, very grateful for. i don't know what we would have done if I didn't have a paycheck coming in since my husband has been unemployed since October last year. I know my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.
I am grateful that I have a nice home, a husband who loves me, two great kids who also make good parents to my grandchildren. I am also grateful they are married to some pretty awesome spouses too. I am particularly grateful for the opportunity to be a grandmother and that my grandchildren are getting to know me and I, them even though we live thousands of miles apart. I'm grateful for internet and webcams.
I appreciate my life and thank God for his favor as a child of God. I thank Him for everything from a beautiful sunrise to helping me find something I misplaced in the house. Sometimes I notice and appreciate God's handiwork in the simplest things. We use to call that 'looking for the silver lining' or 'making lemonade out of lemons'. Its a positive attitude resulting from a heart of gratitude. If you stay humble and appreciate even the smallest things then you probably can avoid having a bad attitude toward life. I have known some people who have a chip on their shoulder and think the world owes them something. They don't appreciate the generosity of others and find it too hard to even say thank you. Instead, they accept a gift and complain about it to everyone and sometimes right to the face of the person who gave it to them. Nothing is ever good enough for them. These kind of people really unhappy.
My motto is to always say thank you even for the smallest things, even if you don't like the gift that is given, be kind and gracious enough to be grateful for the act of generosity. Look past the object into the heart of the giver. It truly is 'the thought that counts' as they say. Stay grateful and watch how God will continue to bless you because your heart is open and appreciative.
Meanwhile I am grateful for my life and I like that about me.
A lot has happened in the last two months. I broke my leg and was only allowed to walk, or rather hop, on one leg for 6 weeks while using a walker or crutches. Now that the cast has been removed, I am forced to re-learn how to walk normally using both legs and feet. The situation has made me realize how fortunate I really am. Some people remain handicapped for a lifetime, while mine was just temporary. It makes me grateful that I can go back to using two legs and that I have all my other body parts needed. I think we should all learn to appreciate what we have instead of taking it for granted that it will always be there, ready and available for us. Of course, that goes for people too. Our health is something we should appreciate and take care of. I'm thankful this year is my year to becoming increasingly healthier. That's what I am suddenly thinking about.
Shortly after I broke my leg, I learned that my brother passed away. He was the last of my family. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely, almost the last of my kind so to speak...the end of a generation. My kids helped me get through the grief. I am very grateful that I have two wonderful children who love me and are there for me when I need them. I'm grateful that they have each other to lean on too. Families should stick together to help one another and my children are like that.
I was inspired to create a memorial website to honor my brother's memory. I'm grateful for having him in my life even though he was my much older brother. We grew closer in the last 15 years, especially the last 10 years. I'm so grateful that I have some really good memories of him to hold onto.
While I was off work waiting on my leg to heal, my employer paid me for this time off. That is a favor I certainly didn't expect but am very, very grateful for. i don't know what we would have done if I didn't have a paycheck coming in since my husband has been unemployed since October last year. I know my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.
I am grateful that I have a nice home, a husband who loves me, two great kids who also make good parents to my grandchildren. I am also grateful they are married to some pretty awesome spouses too. I am particularly grateful for the opportunity to be a grandmother and that my grandchildren are getting to know me and I, them even though we live thousands of miles apart. I'm grateful for internet and webcams.
I appreciate my life and thank God for his favor as a child of God. I thank Him for everything from a beautiful sunrise to helping me find something I misplaced in the house. Sometimes I notice and appreciate God's handiwork in the simplest things. We use to call that 'looking for the silver lining' or 'making lemonade out of lemons'. Its a positive attitude resulting from a heart of gratitude. If you stay humble and appreciate even the smallest things then you probably can avoid having a bad attitude toward life. I have known some people who have a chip on their shoulder and think the world owes them something. They don't appreciate the generosity of others and find it too hard to even say thank you. Instead, they accept a gift and complain about it to everyone and sometimes right to the face of the person who gave it to them. Nothing is ever good enough for them. These kind of people really unhappy.
My motto is to always say thank you even for the smallest things, even if you don't like the gift that is given, be kind and gracious enough to be grateful for the act of generosity. Look past the object into the heart of the giver. It truly is 'the thought that counts' as they say. Stay grateful and watch how God will continue to bless you because your heart is open and appreciative.
Meanwhile I am grateful for my life and I like that about me.
2/10/09
Vulnerability
I'm back at work now and feeling very strange. I am anxious and fearful. I need to pray about this and find courage in my faith to make it through one more "test" of life. Some of this anxiety is obviously due to my current health issues as I'm trying to regain physical and mental strength. After breaking my ankle I had to adapt to using only one leg. Now, here I am again, adapting -- this time I'm learning how to walk again. Its not just learning how to walk physically but spiritually. During my time off I was able to quiet myself and listen.
Now I am dealing with "getting back into action" or "how to be normal again". I so want my life back but a better life, a stronger me. I want to be stronger in mind, body and spirit.
As I re-enter the work force and get back to my old job, I can't help but empathize with others who find themselves in a similar situation. I can kind of understand what new mothers might feel returning after maternity leave. Although I was absent for only 5 weeks, I feel very "out of place" coming back. At first I came back part-time for 2 weeks and now I'm up to full-time again. That first week back was extremely stressful. It felt like I had jumped onto a treadmill already running at top speed but I was unprepared. I felt like I got hit by 300 lb pro-wrestler when the stress tried to jump right on me and pin me down.
I'm still out of my comfort zone as I am using someone else's desk for the time being because I'm not allowed to use the stairs until I can walk much better. Its funny how you associate your responsiblity with your surroundings as though you can't function with full ability until you get back to your own desk.
I think I am feeling insecure. My assistant has been doing an amazing job without me and is still handling things even though I am there. I'm very proud of her but I'mk feeling as though I'm not needed. Its almost as though I could walk out that door and know that the office would get by without me just fine. Its like being a mother -- you raise your children to be on their own but when they are you feel like you aren't needed anymore and it hits you unexpectedly.
It also explains my low work-drive. Although I'm at work, I've been taking it easy and haven't taken back much responsibility. That also explains why I've been feeling guilt as she continues to carry a heavier load. I feel like I can't help lift that load until I get back to my full self at my own desk and yet, it doesn't seem right to let her carry it.
My first week back was quite stressful. It was extra hard because my employer was dealing with her own stress at another office out of town. The employees there were stressed under the heavy volume of work. So I'm feeling surrounded by stress! I made an error in judgment and failed to communicate effectively. My boss was upset with my office (myself and my assistant). Then the next week, a manager at another branch was upset with my response to his email. It just got worse even though I made a second attempt to explain myself.
Stress -- trying to please everyone is stressful and makes me ask the question, "Who are we trying to please"? Our bosses, our customers, our suppliers, our co-workers, our employees, ourselves, our family, our friends, who? I wonder, if we weren't all so busy trying to perform perfectly to make everyone happy, would we have so much stress? What can we do to help ourselves deal with stress? How can we change our little corner of our world to make it less stressful?
In the meantime, what I like about me is that I'm vulnerable, which means if I'm honest with myself there's hope for improvement...an opportunity for change.
Now I am dealing with "getting back into action" or "how to be normal again". I so want my life back but a better life, a stronger me. I want to be stronger in mind, body and spirit.
As I re-enter the work force and get back to my old job, I can't help but empathize with others who find themselves in a similar situation. I can kind of understand what new mothers might feel returning after maternity leave. Although I was absent for only 5 weeks, I feel very "out of place" coming back. At first I came back part-time for 2 weeks and now I'm up to full-time again. That first week back was extremely stressful. It felt like I had jumped onto a treadmill already running at top speed but I was unprepared. I felt like I got hit by 300 lb pro-wrestler when the stress tried to jump right on me and pin me down.
I'm still out of my comfort zone as I am using someone else's desk for the time being because I'm not allowed to use the stairs until I can walk much better. Its funny how you associate your responsiblity with your surroundings as though you can't function with full ability until you get back to your own desk.
I think I am feeling insecure. My assistant has been doing an amazing job without me and is still handling things even though I am there. I'm very proud of her but I'mk feeling as though I'm not needed. Its almost as though I could walk out that door and know that the office would get by without me just fine. Its like being a mother -- you raise your children to be on their own but when they are you feel like you aren't needed anymore and it hits you unexpectedly.
It also explains my low work-drive. Although I'm at work, I've been taking it easy and haven't taken back much responsibility. That also explains why I've been feeling guilt as she continues to carry a heavier load. I feel like I can't help lift that load until I get back to my full self at my own desk and yet, it doesn't seem right to let her carry it.
My first week back was quite stressful. It was extra hard because my employer was dealing with her own stress at another office out of town. The employees there were stressed under the heavy volume of work. So I'm feeling surrounded by stress! I made an error in judgment and failed to communicate effectively. My boss was upset with my office (myself and my assistant). Then the next week, a manager at another branch was upset with my response to his email. It just got worse even though I made a second attempt to explain myself.
Stress -- trying to please everyone is stressful and makes me ask the question, "Who are we trying to please"? Our bosses, our customers, our suppliers, our co-workers, our employees, ourselves, our family, our friends, who? I wonder, if we weren't all so busy trying to perform perfectly to make everyone happy, would we have so much stress? What can we do to help ourselves deal with stress? How can we change our little corner of our world to make it less stressful?
In the meantime, what I like about me is that I'm vulnerable, which means if I'm honest with myself there's hope for improvement...an opportunity for change.
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