Honoring Mom

Mother's Day to most of us that means we call, write, send a card and/or gift to our mothers on that special day to make sure Mom knows we love her. It is an opportunity to show her we care and appreciate her, an opportunity to honor her.


I remember songs that explained how wonderful mothers are, "M is for the millions things she gives me, O is for"....well, you get the picture.


My version that I wrote today....
M is for the many times you nagged me
O is for my obvious replies
T is for the tantrums I threw to get my way
H is for the hard times when you made me cry
E is for the eternal time I was grounded
R is for the running away I promised you I'd do
put them all together, they spell M-O-T-H-E-R,
If she were alive today I'd hug and say 'Thank You'!


My children, Haylie & Coley, two kids that really make me proud. I am truly blessed to now have finally made it from "ma-ma", to "mommy", to "mom", and now to honorable title of "mother". They surpass themselves in showing me their love each year they grow as parents too. Sorry, kids, but I was beginning to wonder (just like my mother did with me) if you would finally get there. Its that place where you know they just get it finally. All your blood, sweat, tears and prayers are finally understood. Its not easy being a parent, especially a mother.


For mothers, the learning process is continual. We have to learn to let go of the apron strings, to butt out of your lives, to let you find out for yourself through your own mistakes. Although we would love to hear from you a couple of times each week if not more, telling us what new thing you've learned or what you've been going through, we Mother's of adult children, take whatever we can get from you now.


We're still here anytime you need us. Nothing would make us any happier than to be needed once in awhile, a little advice asked for would be like whipped cream on top of a well baked dessert that took all day to make. We are proud that you're handling life but here's a little secret I'll share. Mother's really don't stop worrying about their kids no matter how old you become, we just finally learn there isn't a darn thing we can do about it anymore so we just pray for you every day and leave you in God's hands.


Thank God for daughter-in-law's who influence their husbands to honor their mother. I'm sure my mother-in-law thanks me and my husband does too. He isn't working alone to find ways of showing his mom he loves her because he's got me there to help. Women know how to speak 'woman to woman' best. My son is pretty good about calling me and keeping in touch. He is very caring and keeps me updated on the growth of my grandson, which makes me happy. My daughter-in-law helps my son look good with her support. The two of them are really good about showing their appreciation and love for me. I feel truly honored and blessed to have gained another daughter who has brought out the best in my son. I feel sorry for men who don't have the help of a wife or girlfriend to pick out a mother's day gift.


And to my daughter -- didn't I tell you that you'd make a good mother someday? You had nothing to worry about. I always believed in you. I knew you had it in you because I turned out to be ok as a Mom and you're turning out just fine as a Mom too. In fact, I think you're doing a much better job than I would have in your circumstances. I'm so proud of you. Mother's and daughters don't really understand and appreciate each other that much until they are both older and wiser. Many times they often becomes best friends. That's what happened between my mother and me and now my daughter and I have a bonded friendship that we grew into. We finally 'get' each other now. I feel like I am learning from my daughter most of the time. To really appreciate each other it seems our relationship grows most living 1700 miles apart.


Other than Dr. Spock (not Leonard Nimoy), nobody wrote parental "how to" books i\\\ you into the perfect mother. Spock's book was more about helping the mother to ensure the baby survived the new inexperienced mother. Now we've got the Supernanny! She is about making sure you don't go insane and raise delinquents.


Before I close this blog message about honoring mothers, I would like to share a poem that I wrote for my parents in 1978 when I was a young mother myself.


"My Parents"
What would we do without parents?
I wouldn't want to guess
I know that without them
I'd be in a terrible mess
And yeah, they raised me up to be
Just what I am, yeah its me.
I'm not the greatest daughter they have,
But I'm their only one, I ain't that bad.
And I love them more than they know.
That's why I'm writing this poem,
To tell them so.


It wasn't the poem of the century but my parents, especially my mother, treasured it in her heart. She took the poem, burned the edges for decoration and mounted it onto a piece of wood with clear epoxy. She burned the date onto the back of the wood, put a hook in it and hung it on their bedroom wall. After she died I took the mounted poem home to keep as a keepsake. The expression of my heart meant the world to my mother because I honored her through my creative writing and it meant something special to both of my parents. Mom is part of who I am today and because of my mother, I continue to use the creative gifts given to me.


My mother was an artist. She painted pictures with oil paints and watercolor. My mother was always impressed by my ability to write poetry, stories and extremely descriptive letters. When she was dying, I sat down beside her and wrote in my journal from my heart. She turned to me and asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm painting a memory of you with words." "Oh," she said, "I always wondered how you did that."


This is dedicated to my mother, Irma, who continues to inspire me.

Renewed Appreciation

Are you content with what you have?


How do you get a new car on an old budget? You buy a set of new seat covers, different than the color of the current seats of course. Then you buy a padded steering wheel cover to match the seat covers. You take your car to the car wash and then drive it home and clean out all the junk and trash. Then you vacuum clean the interior, Windex the windows inside and out and finish it off by wiping it down with Armor All. Don't forget to clean the floor mats and vacuum the trunk.


That is what I did today.


Obviously this isn't the first time I've washed, vacuumed and cleaned out my car but it is the first time I've purchased seat covers $29.99 and a steering wheel cover $14.99. I took it to a car wash $8.00 and the rest was accomplished via good old elbow grease. I was amazed at the final transformation and highly recommending it to anyone who has lost appreciation for their vehicle but can't afford to replace it with a new one.


This was the best and smartest way to get a "new" car for only $53.00 plus tax. That's wisdom! That's appreciation for what you do have.

Grattitude

Today was a normal day. I've been trying to get back to a "normal" day for almost 2 months. I started my day by coming downstairs and making coffee. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it was to me. For the last 7 weeks, my husband has been taking care of me and doing everything for me. This was the first morning I did what I "normally" would do and it was actually a sign of progress to get "back to normal"....back into a regular routine.


A lot has happened in the last two months. I broke my leg and was only allowed to walk, or rather hop, on one leg for 6 weeks while using a walker or crutches. Now that the cast has been removed, I am forced to re-learn how to walk normally using both legs and feet. The situation has made me realize how fortunate I really am. Some people remain handicapped for a lifetime, while mine was just temporary. It makes me grateful that I can go back to using two legs and that I have all my other body parts needed. I think we should all learn to appreciate what we have instead of taking it for granted that it will always be there, ready and available for us. Of course, that goes for people too. Our health is something we should appreciate and take care of. I'm thankful this year is my year to becoming increasingly healthier. That's what I am suddenly thinking about.


Shortly after I broke my leg, I learned that my brother passed away. He was the last of my family. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely, almost the last of my kind so to speak...the end of a generation. My kids helped me get through the grief. I am very grateful that I have two wonderful children who love me and are there for me when I need them. I'm grateful that they have each other to lean on too. Families should stick together to help one another and my children are like that.


I was inspired to create a memorial website to honor my brother's memory. I'm grateful for having him in my life even though he was my much older brother. We grew closer in the last 15 years, especially the last 10 years. I'm so grateful that I have some really good memories of him to hold onto.


While I was off work waiting on my leg to heal, my employer paid me for this time off. That is a favor I certainly didn't expect but am very, very grateful for. i don't know what we would have done if I didn't have a paycheck coming in since my husband has been unemployed since October last year. I know my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.


I am grateful that I have a nice home, a husband who loves me, two great kids who also make good parents to my grandchildren. I am also grateful they are married to some pretty awesome spouses too. I am particularly grateful for the opportunity to be a grandmother and that my grandchildren are getting to know me and I, them even though we live thousands of miles apart. I'm grateful for internet and webcams.


I appreciate my life and thank God for his favor as a child of God. I thank Him for everything from a beautiful sunrise to helping me find something I misplaced in the house. Sometimes I notice and appreciate God's handiwork in the simplest things. We use to call that 'looking for the silver lining' or 'making lemonade out of lemons'. Its a positive attitude resulting from a heart of gratitude. If you stay humble and appreciate even the smallest things then you probably can avoid having a bad attitude toward life. I have known some people who have a chip on their shoulder and think the world owes them something. They don't appreciate the generosity of others and find it too hard to even say thank you. Instead, they accept a gift and complain about it to everyone and sometimes right to the face of the person who gave it to them. Nothing is ever good enough for them. These kind of people really unhappy.


My motto is to always say thank you even for the smallest things, even if you don't like the gift that is given, be kind and gracious enough to be grateful for the act of generosity. Look past the object into the heart of the giver. It truly is 'the thought that counts' as they say. Stay grateful and watch how God will continue to bless you because your heart is open and appreciative.


Meanwhile I am grateful for my life and I like that about me.