Honoring Mom

Mother's Day to most of us that means we call, write, send a card and/or gift to our mothers on that special day to make sure Mom knows we love her. It is an opportunity to show her we care and appreciate her, an opportunity to honor her.


I remember songs that explained how wonderful mothers are, "M is for the millions things she gives me, O is for"....well, you get the picture.


My version that I wrote today....
M is for the many times you nagged me
O is for my obvious replies
T is for the tantrums I threw to get my way
H is for the hard times when you made me cry
E is for the eternal time I was grounded
R is for the running away I promised you I'd do
put them all together, they spell M-O-T-H-E-R,
If she were alive today I'd hug and say 'Thank You'!


My children, Haylie & Coley, two kids that really make me proud. I am truly blessed to now have finally made it from "ma-ma", to "mommy", to "mom", and now to honorable title of "mother". They surpass themselves in showing me their love each year they grow as parents too. Sorry, kids, but I was beginning to wonder (just like my mother did with me) if you would finally get there. Its that place where you know they just get it finally. All your blood, sweat, tears and prayers are finally understood. Its not easy being a parent, especially a mother.


For mothers, the learning process is continual. We have to learn to let go of the apron strings, to butt out of your lives, to let you find out for yourself through your own mistakes. Although we would love to hear from you a couple of times each week if not more, telling us what new thing you've learned or what you've been going through, we Mother's of adult children, take whatever we can get from you now.


We're still here anytime you need us. Nothing would make us any happier than to be needed once in awhile, a little advice asked for would be like whipped cream on top of a well baked dessert that took all day to make. We are proud that you're handling life but here's a little secret I'll share. Mother's really don't stop worrying about their kids no matter how old you become, we just finally learn there isn't a darn thing we can do about it anymore so we just pray for you every day and leave you in God's hands.


Thank God for daughter-in-law's who influence their husbands to honor their mother. I'm sure my mother-in-law thanks me and my husband does too. He isn't working alone to find ways of showing his mom he loves her because he's got me there to help. Women know how to speak 'woman to woman' best. My son is pretty good about calling me and keeping in touch. He is very caring and keeps me updated on the growth of my grandson, which makes me happy. My daughter-in-law helps my son look good with her support. The two of them are really good about showing their appreciation and love for me. I feel truly honored and blessed to have gained another daughter who has brought out the best in my son. I feel sorry for men who don't have the help of a wife or girlfriend to pick out a mother's day gift.


And to my daughter -- didn't I tell you that you'd make a good mother someday? You had nothing to worry about. I always believed in you. I knew you had it in you because I turned out to be ok as a Mom and you're turning out just fine as a Mom too. In fact, I think you're doing a much better job than I would have in your circumstances. I'm so proud of you. Mother's and daughters don't really understand and appreciate each other that much until they are both older and wiser. Many times they often becomes best friends. That's what happened between my mother and me and now my daughter and I have a bonded friendship that we grew into. We finally 'get' each other now. I feel like I am learning from my daughter most of the time. To really appreciate each other it seems our relationship grows most living 1700 miles apart.


Other than Dr. Spock (not Leonard Nimoy), nobody wrote parental "how to" books i\\\ you into the perfect mother. Spock's book was more about helping the mother to ensure the baby survived the new inexperienced mother. Now we've got the Supernanny! She is about making sure you don't go insane and raise delinquents.


Before I close this blog message about honoring mothers, I would like to share a poem that I wrote for my parents in 1978 when I was a young mother myself.


"My Parents"
What would we do without parents?
I wouldn't want to guess
I know that without them
I'd be in a terrible mess
And yeah, they raised me up to be
Just what I am, yeah its me.
I'm not the greatest daughter they have,
But I'm their only one, I ain't that bad.
And I love them more than they know.
That's why I'm writing this poem,
To tell them so.


It wasn't the poem of the century but my parents, especially my mother, treasured it in her heart. She took the poem, burned the edges for decoration and mounted it onto a piece of wood with clear epoxy. She burned the date onto the back of the wood, put a hook in it and hung it on their bedroom wall. After she died I took the mounted poem home to keep as a keepsake. The expression of my heart meant the world to my mother because I honored her through my creative writing and it meant something special to both of my parents. Mom is part of who I am today and because of my mother, I continue to use the creative gifts given to me.


My mother was an artist. She painted pictures with oil paints and watercolor. My mother was always impressed by my ability to write poetry, stories and extremely descriptive letters. When she was dying, I sat down beside her and wrote in my journal from my heart. She turned to me and asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm painting a memory of you with words." "Oh," she said, "I always wondered how you did that."


This is dedicated to my mother, Irma, who continues to inspire me.

Love

"Love can change the heart of any man". This is the phrase, almost a promise, that was running through my head when I awoke this morning. I thought to myself how powerful love is...real love, God's love, God is love. Love is a commitment, a choice, a decision not an emotion, although we can feel loved. We can feel the emotions that lead us to love but this is why so many people are confused by love or have no stamina in their relationships. "I don't love you anymore", means I changed my mind, my commitment, my choice is not to love you anymore because my feelings have changed toward you. Something changed in me. Those are frightening words to hear in a relationship because its very hard to get things back to where they were. I'm not saying it can't be done for it is possible but it will take hard work and commitment from both parties to make it together. This is why relationships fail.


If people are not willing to lay down their lives for the ones they love, then they won't work hard at the relationships that are in trouble. Sometimes, depending upon the type of relationship, its best to walk away and let it die. Not all "relationships" are meant to continue. I've had friendships that ended for the best because it was a toxic relationship. I've experienced relationships that changed beyond any power of my own and the choice was not mine to walk away, therefore I had to accept it and let it go.


Marriage is a sacred thing, a covenant, which many of us do not fully understand the meaning of that word as God meant it to be, however, in today's world it is far too easy to get a divorce. I am so thankful that I have a marriage now that I hold sacred in my heart and am committed to. I am loved and I love. We both work at it, of course, I feel I work at it harder (women alway believe that and its usually true), but there was a time in my life that two failed marriages almost destroyed any faith or hope I might have in finding the love of my life. I had to grow up and maybe he did too -- then we met and are working at our marriage because we are committed to one another.


I am praying for my spouse because I believe the statement I heard in my mind this morning when I awoke. I know that God has the ability and power and desire to change us and not leave us as we are. "Love can change the heart of any man"


Char
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"There are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all" (1Corinthians 12:6). And it is God Himself Who assuredly promises to anyone who will take Him at His Word, "26 A NEW HEART WILL I GIVE YOU, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. 27 And I WILL PUT MY SPIRIT WITHIN YOU, and CAUSE you to walk in My Statutes, and ye shall KEEP My Judgments, and DO them" (Ezekiel 36:26-27).
http://www.whatsaiththescripture.com/Fellowship/God.Can.Change.A.Heart.html
And when it comes to man's impenitent heart, frozen in obstinacy, God has provided all that can possibly ever be provided to change that heart. "For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestin to be conformed to the Image of His Son" (Romans 8:29). But when one of the LORD's people knows how to plead the Promises of the Word of God as a mighty praying warrior, an intercessor, whether they be a spouse, a child, a friend, or even a stranger, bringing the name and destiny of a needy soul before the Father's Throne, with our Most Holy Advocate (1John 2:1) and Divine Intercessor (Romans 8:34)-- "Jesus Christ the Righteous" (1John 2:1)-- Himself, presenting the case in the Absolute Language of God's Own Word-- then "HE CANNOT DENY HIMSELF" (2Timothy 2:13). "The Words that I speak unto you I speak not of Myself:but the Father that dwelleth in Me,He doeth the Works"(John 14:10).