Watchman

March 2009


My husband and I went to a movie the other night. It was a secular movie about the end times. I hope that you are open minded while knowing what you believe in. I hope you can recognize that God can use anything or anyone to accomplish his purpose. In this last hour, this last final push, we will probably see a lot of unusual ‘tools’ God will use. Anyway, my husband and I went to see this movie, “Knowing” starring Nicholas Cage. It is a gripping action-thriller science-fiction movie of global proportions about a professor who stumbles on terrifying predictions about the future and sets out to prevent them from coming true. He has experienced a loss of large magnitude in his life and is estranged from his father, a minister, so therefore the professor (Nicholas Cage) is angry at God and no longer believes in God now believing everything is coincidence.


“Knowing”
Warning! This synopsis contains spoilers: In 1959, as part of the dedication ceremony for a new elementary school, a group of students is asked to draw pictures to be stored in a time capsule. But one mysterious girl fills her sheet of paper with rows of apparently random numbers instead.


Fifty years later, a new generation of students examines the capsules contents and the girls cryptic message ends up in the hands of young CALEB MYLES. But it is Calebs father, professor TED MYLES (Nicolas Cage), who makes the startling discovery that the encoded message predicts with pinpoint accuracy the dates, death tolls and coordinates of every major disaster of the past 50 years. As Ted further unravels the documents chilling secrets, he realizes the document foretells three additional events the last of which hints at destruction on a global scale and seems to somehow involve Ted and his son. When Ted’s attempts to alert the authorities fall on deaf ears, he takes it upon himself to try to prevent more destruction from taking place.


With the reluctant help of DIANA WHELAN and ABBY, the daughter and granddaughter of the now-deceased author of the prophecies, Ted’s increasingly desperate efforts take him on a heart-pounding race against time until he finds himself facing the ultimate disaster and the ultimate sacrifice.
I find it interesting that at the end of the movie, the events cannot be stopped but the people still have the freedom of will to choose what they will believe and most of them do not have time or the ability to save themselves.


One could argue the controversy about the other beings involved in this movie. Were they aliens or angels. The movie leaves you wondering throughout but if you are a follower of Christ and are tuned into the signs of the times, you can see that this movie could be used to open a discussion about the real destruction of earth and mankind as we know it and about the “escape from earth” or rapture.


In fact, at the end of the movie I had to go to the bathroom so I got up and went to stand at the exit so I could be the first one out as soon as the movie was over. There were 3 young people standing there ready to do a fast clean up as soon as the theater was empty. They knew the movie was almost over as well and were in position. So I took opportunity to talk to them for a minute. I witnessed to them that though this was just a movie it was very symbolic of what is coming! They asked a couple of questions and I went on to say that Jesus is returning for those who believe. Those who do not believe in him will be left behind to their own destruction. I told them they should be open minded and search into for themselves but Jesus Christ is returning for those who believe in him. That was the closest opportunity to open a door for God to work and I had to leave it with him.


The other day I followed the opportunity to share the gospel with a friend of mine at work. God moves in mysterious ways. I will say this, after the opportunity to share the good news of Jesus Christ and how to be saved, another opportunity came. It was the opportunity for offense. I got my feelings slightly hurt ….there was also days of confusion and mental oppression, fogginess and fear set in to claim my mind. I prayed for clarity and asked God to heal me. I was afraid but trusted in God. He came through for me. I chose to forgive the offense and prayed for our relationship. I knew that the enemy of God did not want this young woman to see Jesus in me and that the devil wanted to create a rift between us. I knew that this could not happen. I went to work and faced the situation although I was afraid, it worked out and our relationship is better than ever. I know it will be only a matter of time before she will know Him.


Previously before that I felt the opportunity to share the gospel with another co-worker. I missed the opportunity to share it with a woman that God had me praying for. It came and went, I froze, afraid of rejection, I didn’t do it. Since then my brother and sister-in-law died, I don’t know if they were believers. I know that my mother’s cousin, a Baptist minister, led my brother to the Lord before my brother was sent to prison. I sent letters. I stood by him and continued praying for him but in the end, I just don’t know because I never acted on opportunity to say anything.


Now that time is short and I know He is coming I am more serious about speaking up than ever before. I truly believe that I won’t have to worry about growing old. I believe that I will see the Lord soon enough. Whether that is true or not, I have suddenly found enthusiasm and hope to witness again. I know there was a time that I fell away from sharing my testimony because I grew weary. Like the Bible says, we will reap if we do not grow weary in well doing. Every branch that bears fruit I prune. He refuses to leave us the way we are. God I don’t want to miss out on what you have for me. God says do not lean on your own understanding. God is shaking everything that can be shaken. We don’t have time to waste.


I want fruitfulness that will overcome the world. Don’t waste time, energy or money on anything that doesn’t advance toward building the Kingdom of God.


God will finish the work that he began.


In the movie, Knowing, there is a line said by Nicholas Cage that eludes to the end times regarding world disasters, “I know how this sounds, but I’ve mapped these numbers to the dates of every major global disaster from the last 50 years in perfect sequence. Earthquakes, fires, Tsunamis…The next number on the chain predicts that tomorrow, somewhere on this planet, 81 people are going to die in some kind of tragedy.”


The response from his unbelieving friend is also very symbolic of many end times unbelievers…see if this sounds familiar, “Whoa. Just step back. Have another look at it! Systems that find meaning in numbers are a dime in dozen. Why? Because people see what they want to see.”


So basically, you can have all the proof , the character and expertise on the subject but if it is not something they want to hear or that is not conceivable their first response will be unbelief. They simply cannot understand it with their own mind and therefore choose not to believe it.


God has been speaking two subjects from the Bible to me lately.


One is the book of Esther and the courage it took for her to face her fear and be willing to suffer the consequences for what she believed in for the good of others.


The other is about being a watchman for the house of God, warning people before it is too late. Last night I had a dream that I was walking on air high above the ground. I was able to see lot more from this vantage point. I could see what others did not want to see or did not even know was coming. As the dream developed I heard in my spirit in my sleep “watchmen on the wall”…then I could see myself walking along the wall….positioned to watch and declare to those inside the fort if danger was coming.


How do I not know that I was set to be a watchman on the wall (see this website too http://www.watchman.ca) for such a time as this. (Esther and Ezekiel combined). All I know is there must be a way to blow the trumpet and get others too listen. Save as many as you can. The time is short. Leave what is behind and press forward, no time for sorrow, no time for fear, no time to worry, no time to hide, no time to play, be about the Father’s work before it is too late. That is what I feel going on inside me.


Most importantly PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. And read the Word.


Ezekiel 3:17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman to the house of Israel. Therefore hear the Word of my mouth, and give them warning from Me.” "....you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood." Ezekiel 3:18

Relationships

I spent many years hiding from my problems, avoiding confrontations with people and pushing my feelings down with food and other addictions but God in his mercy gave me the grace to work through many of these issues.


I can boast in the Lord and what he has helped me to face in my life. These are some of the things I have learned:


1. Relationships you care about require communication and effort. You might have to confront a misunderstanding or a problem. This may involve unpleasant conversations you would normally avoid but if the relationship is of value to you then you will deal with it. Unlike the famous movie line in the 1970 movie Love Story "love means never having to say your sorry", you will probably have to humble yourself and say you're sorry, admit when you're wrong or the possibility that you could be wrong. Pride is a blockage to the heart of healthy relationships.


2. Relationships are like living things. They require nurturing care. They take time to grow and develop. They need selfless sacrifice at times. They are fed by communication and watered by listening hearts. If you aren't willing to do any of these things you won't have success in your relationships.


Imagine you have a relationship of value. Imagine you are unwilling to listen to that person, unwilling to communicate or share yourself. Imagine you expect the relationship to come built in with trust, respect and loving devotion. Imagine you won't give up anything personal or contribute to the relationship but instead expect the other person to give to you and you are eager to take what is offered. How long do you think this relationship will last? Some people settle for bad relationships but most people do not and sooner or later somebody will want out.


The most important relationship is the one you have with your Creator. He loved you before you knew him and gave something of value as a gift of sacrifice. He gave his sons's life for you and for me. Jesus gave up his life willingly. No greater love than to lay down your own life for your friends.

Forgiveness

This morning God reminded me that we have to walk in forgiveness and believe me, if you are trying to love others and share the love of God, there will be opportunity for offense. #1 When offense comes and feelings are hurt, before you act, lay it at the foot of the cross and talk to God about it. Jesus can identify with every root feeling you are experiencing. #2 The choice to overlook an offense brings much more glory to God and opens a door to discuss an issue that will let you express yourself in love. God can lead the conversation but it needs to be addressed. Don't let it fester. Sometimes we can turn away as though it never happened but more than likely we will have to discuss the matter. #3 "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Part of the Lord's prayer and something that is not easy because human beings feel so much. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." That was the hardest prayer prayed to the Father by his son as he was hanging torn and bloodied on a tree meant for criminals. Innocent blood spilled and yet in his tormented pain he could pray for his enemies, "Father, forgive them." *sometimes people don't realize they are trespassing if they are lost*

Strife & Offense

After saying how things were going so great and how I've been able to not feel pulled down to distracting problems, saying that I've been feeling kind of numb lately to many of these daily problems lately blah, blah, blah....well this is what I get for boasting. This week I found out just how numb I am not. Its been a very hard week and I actually feel I got slammed pretty hard affecting both my physical and mental (emotional). My patience and suffering was strained this week when I experienced a misunderstanding at work. Something was said that was accusatory and hurt my feelings.


I am very fond of my co-worker/friend. We've been through a lot together in a very short time and I've actually come out of my comfort zone to risk sharing the good news with her as we've been building our friendship.


I believe there is actually an outside source stirring up strife. In reality people can be influenced so easily and that is why God tells us to guard our hearts. Phillipians 4:6 we are instructed to never worry about anything but instead, in every situation we are to bring our petitions and requests to God through prayer combined with thanksgiving; Phillipians 4:7 Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts (our hearts) and emotions (and minds) through Christ Jesus. This peace will keep us from sinking under the weight of these anxious troubling moments in our lives, keeping us calm with inward peace that confidence that makes us at peace and satisfied. One reason is because we as Believers in Christ are to get and keep a good name (a good reputation); a name for good things with God and good men.


I know the actual one behind the accusation is really the dark Accuser (Rev 12:10). Really the devil tries to thwart God's plan and put a wedge between us and God and between us and mankind, especially when we are interceding for a lost soul. Other people, you've known a few I'm sure, are often manipulated by outside forces and they themselves do not recognize their own influence and attempts to manipulate other people. I know of one particular person who may be involved in my situation as an outside influence. This is why God cautions us to guard our hearts because our peace and our reputation is at stake here. I need to remember that strife and division is a tactic the devil pulls out to bring us down to his level instead of living the Word of God. Interestingly this morning, God impressed me to meditate on 1 Cor. 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."


Even though my feelings don’t feel like it I know that I am victorious because it is written: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, (not against co-workers or husbands or neighbors) but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.


Then God instructs us "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's. You need not fight in this battle, station yourselves, stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf." Then it says, "tomorrow, go out to face them for the Lord is with you." Notice it didn’t say go home and have a pity party for 2 weeks acting like a whipped puppy, it says go out to face it knowing God is with you!!! In other words, ride into battle and by charging in full force you will see the hand of God. Immediately upon experiencing the hurt I felt I needed to humble myself and apologize for the misunderstanding, which I did. I let it be known that how I was being perceived is not my heart's motive and that I have complete confidence in this person to do their job so there is no battle with me. I did feel I needed to go home and remove myself from the heated zone but in my retreat I am turning to God to strengthen me in my inner man so that tomorrow I can go back to work full of love and faith. I will keep myself in prayer through the evening and saturate myself in the word.


We have to remind the devil that he has no right to act toward a child of God and we refuse to accept anything the devil heaps onto us! (Most of the time we just accept it as an unchangeable reality). When he tries to put doubt or discouragement, or fear, or whatever it is that is troubling you and puts things in your mind like, 'I might as well give up...my husband is never going to be a Christian', or 'my financial situation is in ruin and I'll guess I'll always be stuck in debt'. We don't have to listen to him. God said the devil was a liar, in fact, he IS the father of lies.


In John 8:44 it says: "Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies." Also, in 2 Corinthians I0: 3,4,5 it says: "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful, for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."


We are fighting a battle in the spiritual realm, and it is very difficult to keep on keeping on when we do not see what we are fighting. But praise God, we do not have to! He tells us in 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, the battle is not ours, it is His! That is why He tells us not to worry, but to trust Him.


So, the next time doubt, fear, or whatever your problem is that comes into your mind, read through the scriptures listed under the Armor and find one that you can identify with, and tell Satan to leave you alone in the name of Jesus! Take control of your mind, by putting God's Word into it, do not let the devil use it against you. God gave you a mind and told you to work out your Salvation.

Ladies Retreat - Camp Caroline Memories

So I went to this Christian ladies retreat at Camp Caroline....March 20, 21, 22nd. I received very little sleep but was amazingly refreshed in spirit, mind and even body. I consumed too much food but couldn't get enough of the spiritual food God was providing at the heavenly smorgasbord served by our guest speaker, musician, singer/songwriter Carolyn Arends. My eyes took in the the refreshing scenery in the incredible, inspirational setting of Camp Caroline, which includes that amazing chapel and the frozen moment in time as the setting was like that of a stress free Christmas as large, white flakes of snow fell gently on the evergreen cedars. The cozy fireplace inside the dining hall was always a popular place with its comfortable round sectional sofa. This was an unexpected pleasure and surprise for me a charismatic Christian to be joined with over 200 Baptist sisters at their annual provincial wide Baptist church retreat. It was very humbling experience to surrender myself to God and to experience a spiritually blessed and well organized ladies retreat. I was very impressed. My physical ears took in the awe inspiring music as it ministered to my heart both in my soul and body while my spiritual ears awakened to a freshness that I find I cannot yet explain. I bonded with my friends and acquaintances and made new ones as friendships began to blossom. I was in touch with God and He gave me insight and revelation even within the first seconds that I walked into the building. I knew I was going to grow this weekend in a new life experience with God and my sisters in Christ.


These are just some of the highlights from my weekend


Carolyn Arends. It was truly amazing!!! Check out her blog (angelwrestle.blogspot.com)and her website www.carolynarends.com!


Anyway, it was beautiful weekend and I'm going to write down my life lessons and tell you about it here.

Crossing Over

When it comes time for me to cross over to my new world, this is one of the songs I would like played at my memorial. This is the song played in the movie "Lord of the Rings, Return of the King". It is played at the end of the movie as the credits roll. There is so much about this song that touches my heart. One of the lines in the movie at the end....."I think I'm quite ready for another adventure....". I read somewhere that death is like a ship sailing away toward the sunset and just as it slips from view crossing the horizon, your loved one leaves this temporal world for the eternal. These are the words to Annie Lennox' song "Into the West".


Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.


Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.


Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.


What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.


And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.


Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.


Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.


What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.


And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.

Alone

I am tired, weary actually, and am praying, begging that God will hear me and change something for me because I am too tired to do it alone anymore.


What am I talking about? Something as simple as going to church. For the past 50 years I've had to drag people to church with me...my husbands (I've had 3), my children (train a child in the way they should go...), my family -- parents and I'm just tired. I've prayed my family into the kingdom of God. I've stood by them, prayed for them and tried to be an example of Christian faith and love. I've went to church and fought the fight of faith but I'm so bone tired and weary of going it alone that today it hit me hard.


I've been struggling to go to church for months since my health began to diminish due to an accident. Finally, I feel stronger physically but emotionally I'm a wreck. Probably needed to go to church but the effort to get there (45 minute drive) seemed even too much for me. I had a bit of a struggle again (as usual) on Sunday morning with my husband and I had to fight to go to church. I got into the car and started out. I didn't get very far when the tears started pouring out and running down my face.


I began praying to God and weeping harder and harder. I knew I wasn't really going to drive across the city to go to church, not when I wanted to pull over and just throw myself in to God's arms and cry.


The Bible says that God bottles up our tears. He knows our heart's cry. He knows we are weary but says do not faint or grow weary in well doing for you will reap a great reward but I'm just so tired. I am very, very sad today. My emotions are dark and depressed but its more than just a 'today feeling', its more like a load of tears held back inside my heart that can't be held back anymore. I don't want to walk through the next years of my life alone in Christ. I tired of doing it.


Its my fault for loving someone that doesn't really believe in God. He is a good man. He knows there is a God and he believes but the Bible says that even the demons know and believe. We have to go beyond simply knowing and believing, we have to open our heart, cry out to God and ask Him to forgive us our sin by the cleansing blood sacrifice of his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Open the door and invite God into our lives to stay with us, to become the head of our heart's home. Who is the ruler of your heart's home? Is God in charge?


I am crying out to God to change my heart and change my life because obviously there are things to do but I can't fulfill my destiny like this. I need help. I need a help-mate. I need to be part of a 3-stranded cord united with Christ, my husband and me. The road is going to get a lot tougher so I need more than just God's grace to endure and overcome, I need a change of heart and an armor bearer of my own. I need my husband to not only support me but something that has been my heart's desire all my life is to have a Christian husband as my leader and caretaker.


Husband love your wives as Christ loves the church and tend to her as a garden.


For I can't go it alone anymore, God, help me, give me the partner I need on this earth to help me make it through to the end.


Amen, that is my prayer.

Grattitude

Today was a normal day. I've been trying to get back to a "normal" day for almost 2 months. I started my day by coming downstairs and making coffee. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it was to me. For the last 7 weeks, my husband has been taking care of me and doing everything for me. This was the first morning I did what I "normally" would do and it was actually a sign of progress to get "back to normal"....back into a regular routine.


A lot has happened in the last two months. I broke my leg and was only allowed to walk, or rather hop, on one leg for 6 weeks while using a walker or crutches. Now that the cast has been removed, I am forced to re-learn how to walk normally using both legs and feet. The situation has made me realize how fortunate I really am. Some people remain handicapped for a lifetime, while mine was just temporary. It makes me grateful that I can go back to using two legs and that I have all my other body parts needed. I think we should all learn to appreciate what we have instead of taking it for granted that it will always be there, ready and available for us. Of course, that goes for people too. Our health is something we should appreciate and take care of. I'm thankful this year is my year to becoming increasingly healthier. That's what I am suddenly thinking about.


Shortly after I broke my leg, I learned that my brother passed away. He was the last of my family. Sometimes I feel sad and lonely, almost the last of my kind so to speak...the end of a generation. My kids helped me get through the grief. I am very grateful that I have two wonderful children who love me and are there for me when I need them. I'm grateful that they have each other to lean on too. Families should stick together to help one another and my children are like that.


I was inspired to create a memorial website to honor my brother's memory. I'm grateful for having him in my life even though he was my much older brother. We grew closer in the last 15 years, especially the last 10 years. I'm so grateful that I have some really good memories of him to hold onto.


While I was off work waiting on my leg to heal, my employer paid me for this time off. That is a favor I certainly didn't expect but am very, very grateful for. i don't know what we would have done if I didn't have a paycheck coming in since my husband has been unemployed since October last year. I know my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.


I am grateful that I have a nice home, a husband who loves me, two great kids who also make good parents to my grandchildren. I am also grateful they are married to some pretty awesome spouses too. I am particularly grateful for the opportunity to be a grandmother and that my grandchildren are getting to know me and I, them even though we live thousands of miles apart. I'm grateful for internet and webcams.


I appreciate my life and thank God for his favor as a child of God. I thank Him for everything from a beautiful sunrise to helping me find something I misplaced in the house. Sometimes I notice and appreciate God's handiwork in the simplest things. We use to call that 'looking for the silver lining' or 'making lemonade out of lemons'. Its a positive attitude resulting from a heart of gratitude. If you stay humble and appreciate even the smallest things then you probably can avoid having a bad attitude toward life. I have known some people who have a chip on their shoulder and think the world owes them something. They don't appreciate the generosity of others and find it too hard to even say thank you. Instead, they accept a gift and complain about it to everyone and sometimes right to the face of the person who gave it to them. Nothing is ever good enough for them. These kind of people really unhappy.


My motto is to always say thank you even for the smallest things, even if you don't like the gift that is given, be kind and gracious enough to be grateful for the act of generosity. Look past the object into the heart of the giver. It truly is 'the thought that counts' as they say. Stay grateful and watch how God will continue to bless you because your heart is open and appreciative.


Meanwhile I am grateful for my life and I like that about me.

Vulnerability

I'm back at work now and feeling very strange. I am anxious and fearful. I need to pray about this and find courage in my faith to make it through one more "test" of life. Some of this anxiety is obviously due to my current health issues as I'm trying to regain physical and mental strength. After breaking my ankle I had to adapt to using only one leg. Now, here I am again, adapting -- this time I'm learning how to walk again. Its not just learning how to walk physically but spiritually. During my time off I was able to quiet myself and listen.


Now I am dealing with "getting back into action" or "how to be normal again". I so want my life back but a better life, a stronger me. I want to be stronger in mind, body and spirit.


As I re-enter the work force and get back to my old job, I can't help but empathize with others who find themselves in a similar situation. I can kind of understand what new mothers might feel returning after maternity leave. Although I was absent for only 5 weeks, I feel very "out of place" coming back. At first I came back part-time for 2 weeks and now I'm up to full-time again. That first week back was extremely stressful. It felt like I had jumped onto a treadmill already running at top speed but I was unprepared. I felt like I got hit by 300 lb pro-wrestler when the stress tried to jump right on me and pin me down.


I'm still out of my comfort zone as I am using someone else's desk for the time being because I'm not allowed to use the stairs until I can walk much better. Its funny how you associate your responsiblity with your surroundings as though you can't function with full ability until you get back to your own desk.


I think I am feeling insecure. My assistant has been doing an amazing job without me and is still handling things even though I am there. I'm very proud of her but I'mk feeling as though I'm not needed. Its almost as though I could walk out that door and know that the office would get by without me just fine. Its like being a mother -- you raise your children to be on their own but when they are you feel like you aren't needed anymore and it hits you unexpectedly.


It also explains my low work-drive. Although I'm at work, I've been taking it easy and haven't taken back much responsibility. That also explains why I've been feeling guilt as she continues to carry a heavier load. I feel like I can't help lift that load until I get back to my full self at my own desk and yet, it doesn't seem right to let her carry it.


My first week back was quite stressful. It was extra hard because my employer was dealing with her own stress at another office out of town. The employees there were stressed under the heavy volume of work. So I'm feeling surrounded by stress! I made an error in judgment and failed to communicate effectively. My boss was upset with my office (myself and my assistant). Then the next week, a manager at another branch was upset with my response to his email. It just got worse even though I made a second attempt to explain myself.


Stress -- trying to please everyone is stressful and makes me ask the question, "Who are we trying to please"? Our bosses, our customers, our suppliers, our co-workers, our employees, ourselves, our family, our friends, who? I wonder, if we weren't all so busy trying to perform perfectly to make everyone happy, would we have so much stress? What can we do to help ourselves deal with stress? How can we change our little corner of our world to make it less stressful?


In the meantime, what I like about me is that I'm vulnerable, which means if I'm honest with myself there's hope for improvement...an opportunity for change.

Time To Update Your Priorities

The clock is ticking! Everybody has a time limit on this earth because we live inside mortal bodies although our spirits are immortal. While we are on this earth we are given a number of seconds, minutes, hours, days, years. We don't know how long we have but we are allotted a certain amount. What we do in that time is each person's own responsibility. Freedom and rights were purchased with blood and lives were sacrificed for us. If we do not use that time wisely we will be held accountable to the one who gave it to us, our Creator. Everyone is given a purpose no matter how small or insignificant we may feel. Our value and worth is not for others to judge, not even for us to judge, for the One who made us like unto His image is the only one who has the right to judge us. He is the One who formed us in our mother's wombs and then breathed life into us. He is the only One who has the right and the insight as to what our purpose was established to be.

Some people go all their lives never realizing their purpose. They see themselves as insignificant on this earth. That is sad and something I hope to change in my lifetime for myself and my family's lives. How do I expect to make a change like that? Through prayer and by leaving a legacy for my children and others with my choices and talents. God has called me to use my time wisely and as I said in another posting, I feel I have not reached my full potential. In fact, I was close to giving up because I lost sight of the goal. I have another chance before me as hope has been reignited in my heart.

This is the year, 2009, that I hope to set my feet on the pathway to reach my goals. This is the time, don't give up, reach for the stars. If you quiet yourself and turn to God, listen and seek Him while He may be found, He will show you your value and your purpose, everyone has one. Its hidden from us till we turn to God for insight. Without purpose and direction, people perish. We all have to have something to live for. Just like the movie, "Its a Wonderful Life", we sometimes are oblivious to the importance of our part we play in God's plan.

It is my prayer that we all would discover our purpose, our part to play, accept it and get about doing it because time is running out. There will come an end to things as we know it. Whether it is our own untimely death, simply meaning time ran out before we achieved our purpose, or Jesus returned too quickly and we were not ready. Be ready friend, don't wait until it is too late to make the right choice. Make a decision in your heart to trust God, your Creator, the Almighty Living God and accept the sacrifice that He made in giving His only Son as an eternal sacrifice for you to have right standing with God and to know Him personally yourself. Yes, you can intimately know the God of this universe. He had a plan because He knew that mankind would fall so He sacrificed the One born for a purpose, to die for us all in our place because somebody had pay for sin. John 3:16 makes it very plain.

I am committing this year to re-establish my priorities to fulfill my destiny and stop wasting time. In order to do this and still have a "normal" life, it requires a plan and a commitment. I have hope in that God awakened me this year and gave me direction. You'll have to seek Him for your own direction because only He knows what it is and what you'll have to sacrifice to get there but it is possible to get there. This is our time, let's not waste it.

Revival of a Spirit

I use to love to read everything spiritual, listen to tapes, read books and Bibles, go to church every time the doors were open. I raised my kids this way and though I didn’t have much I was happier in my spirit being about God’s work than I am now. Right now I feel very shallow and almost empty. I feel like my life is full of empty and meaningless things. I’m busy playing or living my cozy little life here on this earth. I have forgotten my home planet so to speak. I have forgotten my first love. I have forgotten my calling and purpose on this earth, which is so very temporal. I have forgotten my destiny and my direction. I feel like I’m drugged up all the time or intoxicated by the pleasures and cares of this world – this life currently on earth. I don’t really feel alive anymore. I feel like I’m missing something. I have everything I ever wanted but I miss church activities. I miss the good old days of church but what I really miss is church involvement and personal growth. Evangelism and reaching the lost, praying for people, encouraging them in the Lord…..this was living but now I’m just caught up in a bubble of getting everything I want and all these “things” simply distract me from my real reason for living.

Finally, I have the thrill of seeing my children walking with God, especially my daughter who is surpassing me and I’m so happy for her. Finally all those years of prayer and now I am getting to see it fulfilled. She is alive in Christ and excited to be learning and growing. I on the other hand feel dried up and as though I’m dying. The only thing I want that I really cannot seem to have is my husband saved, spirit filled and hungrily walking after Christ Jesus. I’ve lost hope of my dream for a Christian husband. That is the only thing I have yet to receive. Now more than ever I am concerned because our finances are under attack, my health is under attack and my life seems meaningless – of no value or worth.

Please God, please help me. Please ignite the ember inside me. Wake me from this numbing dazed mental state and renew a right spirit within me. Revive me O God, Speak to me and help me to put into action that which you are showing me.

Life lessons

THE MOST IMPORTANT "LIFE" LESSON I HAVE LEARNED

by Charlotte

It truly makes me sad that a trust can be broken but it happens. My goal is to accept, forgive and not to create opportunity to allow the situation to happen again. I am worth more than that.

If I have learned one thing in life about relationships with people, it is to accept people just exactly as they are and appreciate them for who they are.

If something about someone bothers me so very much, I have to sit down with myself and decide whether or not it is important enough to discuss it with them to help our relationship be a better one.

The only other option, and sometimes the best one, is to accept that person as they are and live with their faults & flaws. Everyone is flawed - not one human being on this earth is perfect. Is the problem a simple fault or bad habit OR is it a serious character problem?

As human beings we can influence one another regarding personal decisions to change. Only that individual can actually change self but some changes take more than our own ability. It may take divine intervention to help us change.

I am aware of my own imperfections and bad habits and I alone am responsible for changing them. My own personal goal is to become a better person.

If I have learned anything in this life from my past mistakes and relationships, it is that people cannot spend their lives trying to fix other people when there is so much personal work needing done on ourselves.

I finally realized one day that I had wasted too much time, emotion and energy on trying to fix the people in my life or trying to understand why they are the way they are.

If they see something in me that they admire and want to incorporate into their own life then I have influenced them for the better. They may ask for advice or wisdom to help make that change.

If we see something good and admiral in someone else’s life then tell them before its too late and you have only regrets for things unsaid.

The most important thing you can do is to tell the people you love how much they mean to you and do it now! Tomorrow may be too late.

The second most important thing is acceptance and unconditional love toward others -- it is the only way you can live at peace with yourself and the rest of the world. It is following the heart of God and his commandment "to love one another."

It all starts through forgiveness.

Wisdom of the Soul

• No one can ruin your day without your permission.
• Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.Others can stop you temporarily but only you can do it permanently.
• Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
• Success stops when you do.
• When you ship comes in make sure you are willing to unload it.
• You will never "have it all together".
• Life is a journey not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
• The biggest lie you can tell yourself: "When I get what I want then I will be happy!"
• The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
• Learn this one truth and you will be much more fulfilled
• "Ultimately 'takers' lose and 'givers' win."
• Life's precious moments don't have value unless they are shared.
• If you don't start it is certain you will not arrive.
• We often fear the things we want the most.
• Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
• Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
• Sorry you missed your opportunity for me to listen.
• Look for opportunities not guarantees.
• Life is what is coming not what was.
• Success is getting up one more time!
• When things go wrong don't go with them.
• Sometimes the majority only means that all fools are on the same side.
• God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give Him all the pieces.
• A person who asks a question may appear to be a fool for about five minutes but the person who doesn't ask is a fool forever.
• I don't have to attend every argument I am invited to.
• Your eyes were placed in the front because it is more important to look ahead than behind.

Shopaholic books

Recently I picked up a strange book at a garage sale and gave some thought to reading it. The book was "Shopaholic & Sister" by Sophie Kinsella. I knew of a series of these books and since I didn't think I would finish it anyway, I didn't worry about reading the series from the start. I was absolutely surprised to find that I loved Sophie Kinsella's books. In fact I not only finished the book within 24 hours but I actually stayed up until 5:00 in the morning to finish it. I laughed out loud, chuckled to myself and had to wipe my eyes a couple of times. Not only was it the type of story and style of writing that I could really get into but I loved the character, Becky Bloomwood! She so reminded me of , well, um, ....ME! (ha ha)
Now I'm hooked and I'm on a quest to buy all these books unless I can get my friends and family to buy one each and send them to me. So now I'm really fully armed with information should someone ask "what do you want for your birthday or Christmas?".....
One great surprise is that I'm reading again and finishing a book, wow -- that in itself is an accomplishment that I didn't think I would achieve. I usually get bored or I'm drawn away by other things I would rather be doing.
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Shopaholic Takes Manhattan
Shopaholic Ties the Knot
Can You Keep a Secret?
The Undomestic Goddess
Shopaholic & Sister
Remember Me?

Why I write down my thoughts

i like to write down my thoughts sharing them with those who come into my life.

i want to leave something behind, something that was worth being here.

i hope people are encouraged and enlightened by the words i write.

You and i might be old friends just talking.
Occasionally i may tell a story, share a poem or just give you my thoughts whether you want them or not. Some people, but very few, have listened and heard the real me. They read the words from my heart poured out into words and formatted to fit together in one place, which is my heart’s cry to understand people and help them understand one another.

i believe God gave me the ability to understand people through a gift. i have a gift of seeing their pain like black, empty holes needing to be filled -- needing filled up with love.

Pot-shots:
Some people have lots of small “pot-shots” holes, scattered throughout their soul. Pot-shots are words that come out of the blue, you rarely see them coming at first. You never know when one is going to hit a nerve and what would occur when that happens. The damages inflicted are at random over a course of several years until a pattern of self-loathing has been formed deep within the belief system. Behavior patterns known as habits begin to develop. Emotions that are suppressed become addictions. We reach for anything to comfort us to dull, numb or gain reprieve from the emotional or physical pain….drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sex, shopping – anything addictive is an excess amount of time given to it until IT begins to control YOU. Belief systems that can also affect our choices can also grow beyond our control such as perfectionism, procrastination and popularity.

Craters:
Some people have extreme crater-like holes leaving gaping voids of emptiness. The initial tragic impact feels unbearable. Over time while the sands of time blow through your soul, the holes are reshape, formatted to fit your world, conforming to its from of living but your holes never go away. The wounds are too deep but not too deep for God.

-o-

Scrapbooking makes me smile!

I love to work with my photographs. Doesn't matter whether they are ones I've taken myself or if they are collected over the years. Doesn't matter whether they are of me, my family or friends, landscapes, my travels, my home...I love capturing memories.

Lately I discovered a new way of scrapbooking that if you ever catch on to it you will be hooked. It is so easy too. This is photo journaling online. Let the professionals bind it into an acid free photo book that will keep forever. No muss, no fuss, no worries as they should all be acid free (read the details before you buy). If you want to embellish it after you get it printed you can but you probably won't want to. I added a few special lines to stand out on a few pages.

You can have these done online through Wal-mart, Costco, Kodak Easy Share Gallery and many other online photo companies out there. Those three are the safest because you can also order prints online and all your photos are stored online but Wal-mart and Costco are limited in styles and options. Kodak is the best so far but they don't have a Canadian version so the cost is U.S. dollars.

The other choices are programs that give you a lot more flexibility but you have to download their programs and your photos remain on your computer and on their program. Each have their own unusual limitations. You just have to explore your options by trial and error to find out which ones work best for you. Picaboo is a U.S. company has the best options I've found but again, different limitations compared to PhotoInPress.ca, which is Canadian. There are a lot of them out there. I've found online photo book offers in almost every state from Tennesee to California. Finding them in Canada is harder.

My first one was created as an elegant, red, hardcover photobook, of our backyard barbecue party. It was an amazing night with friends and captured by a photographer. I took the photos and uploaded them onto Wal-mart site. Chose the book and wrote my story. It was well worth it!

The gift of Encouragement

Encourager (noun)
One who encourages or imparts courage to others.

The Word of God says that those who call themselves Christians, believers within the church or the "body" of Christ, are likened to the human body, which has many parts or members. Each part of the human body has its own significant function, excellently and marvelously created and formed for its purpose in the body.

We were all born with a purpose. There is a reason we are to be here on this earth, born on the exact date and born on to grow up in the era we were meant to be a part of. People can believe it or not. It doesn't change the fact that it is true but it does explain why so many people continue searching to find out who they are and why they exist.

Human beings were created with a special calling or purpose to fulfill or to contribute to on this earth. God deposited inside every one of us special gifts, talents and abilities to fulfill this calling or purpose. As each human being becomes reconciled back into relationship with God through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, we become part of the Body of Christ. We are to function together to fulfill that purpose working together along side one another in unity for the same goal, to further the Kingdom of God. Working along side one another within the the body of Christ.

This doesn't mean that a person who rejects salvation in Jesus Christ is not going to be part of God's plan. The Father can still work through people as he can through nature and through animals. Don't forget the story of Balam's ass that would not take him where he wanted to go because of the angel blocking the road or the great fish that swallowed Jonah and spat him out onto dry land exact where God wanted him to be at the exact time once Jonah surrendered to God's will. Even Judas played an important part in sending Christ to the cross so that we could all be saved. And so we are not confused, remember that it is written that

So Let's seek the wisdom of God operating in faith, coming to the full saving knowledge and in grace fulfill our part. let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty -- never canceled, never rescinded. Romans 11:29
(The Message)

...we are like the various parts of a human body with many members but not all with the same function..... since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.....If you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy...
Romans 12:4-7 (The Message)

one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the (gift giver in us) grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his^[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage;... Romans 12:4 – 7 (NIV)