March 2009
My husband and I went to a movie the other night. It was a secular movie about the end times. I hope that you are open minded while knowing what you believe in. I hope you can recognize that God can use anything or anyone to accomplish his purpose. In this last hour, this last final push, we will probably see a lot of unusual ‘tools’ God will use. Anyway, my husband and I went to see this movie, “Knowing” starring Nicholas Cage. It is a gripping action-thriller science-fiction movie of global proportions about a professor who stumbles on terrifying predictions about the future and sets out to prevent them from coming true. He has experienced a loss of large magnitude in his life and is estranged from his father, a minister, so therefore the professor (Nicholas Cage) is angry at God and no longer believes in God now believing everything is coincidence.
“Knowing”
Warning! This synopsis contains spoilers: In 1959, as part of the dedication ceremony for a new elementary school, a group of students is asked to draw pictures to be stored in a time capsule. But one mysterious girl fills her sheet of paper with rows of apparently random numbers instead.
Fifty years later, a new generation of students examines the capsules contents and the girls cryptic message ends up in the hands of young CALEB MYLES. But it is Calebs father, professor TED MYLES (Nicolas Cage), who makes the startling discovery that the encoded message predicts with pinpoint accuracy the dates, death tolls and coordinates of every major disaster of the past 50 years. As Ted further unravels the documents chilling secrets, he realizes the document foretells three additional events the last of which hints at destruction on a global scale and seems to somehow involve Ted and his son. When Ted’s attempts to alert the authorities fall on deaf ears, he takes it upon himself to try to prevent more destruction from taking place.
With the reluctant help of DIANA WHELAN and ABBY, the daughter and granddaughter of the now-deceased author of the prophecies, Ted’s increasingly desperate efforts take him on a heart-pounding race against time until he finds himself facing the ultimate disaster and the ultimate sacrifice.
I find it interesting that at the end of the movie, the events cannot be stopped but the people still have the freedom of will to choose what they will believe and most of them do not have time or the ability to save themselves.
One could argue the controversy about the other beings involved in this movie. Were they aliens or angels. The movie leaves you wondering throughout but if you are a follower of Christ and are tuned into the signs of the times, you can see that this movie could be used to open a discussion about the real destruction of earth and mankind as we know it and about the “escape from earth” or rapture.
In fact, at the end of the movie I had to go to the bathroom so I got up and went to stand at the exit so I could be the first one out as soon as the movie was over. There were 3 young people standing there ready to do a fast clean up as soon as the theater was empty. They knew the movie was almost over as well and were in position. So I took opportunity to talk to them for a minute. I witnessed to them that though this was just a movie it was very symbolic of what is coming! They asked a couple of questions and I went on to say that Jesus is returning for those who believe. Those who do not believe in him will be left behind to their own destruction. I told them they should be open minded and search into for themselves but Jesus Christ is returning for those who believe in him. That was the closest opportunity to open a door for God to work and I had to leave it with him.
The other day I followed the opportunity to share the gospel with a friend of mine at work. God moves in mysterious ways. I will say this, after the opportunity to share the good news of Jesus Christ and how to be saved, another opportunity came. It was the opportunity for offense. I got my feelings slightly hurt ….there was also days of confusion and mental oppression, fogginess and fear set in to claim my mind. I prayed for clarity and asked God to heal me. I was afraid but trusted in God. He came through for me. I chose to forgive the offense and prayed for our relationship. I knew that the enemy of God did not want this young woman to see Jesus in me and that the devil wanted to create a rift between us. I knew that this could not happen. I went to work and faced the situation although I was afraid, it worked out and our relationship is better than ever. I know it will be only a matter of time before she will know Him.
Previously before that I felt the opportunity to share the gospel with another co-worker. I missed the opportunity to share it with a woman that God had me praying for. It came and went, I froze, afraid of rejection, I didn’t do it. Since then my brother and sister-in-law died, I don’t know if they were believers. I know that my mother’s cousin, a Baptist minister, led my brother to the Lord before my brother was sent to prison. I sent letters. I stood by him and continued praying for him but in the end, I just don’t know because I never acted on opportunity to say anything.
Now that time is short and I know He is coming I am more serious about speaking up than ever before. I truly believe that I won’t have to worry about growing old. I believe that I will see the Lord soon enough. Whether that is true or not, I have suddenly found enthusiasm and hope to witness again. I know there was a time that I fell away from sharing my testimony because I grew weary. Like the Bible says, we will reap if we do not grow weary in well doing. Every branch that bears fruit I prune. He refuses to leave us the way we are. God I don’t want to miss out on what you have for me. God says do not lean on your own understanding. God is shaking everything that can be shaken. We don’t have time to waste.
I want fruitfulness that will overcome the world. Don’t waste time, energy or money on anything that doesn’t advance toward building the Kingdom of God.
God will finish the work that he began.
In the movie, Knowing, there is a line said by Nicholas Cage that eludes to the end times regarding world disasters, “I know how this sounds, but I’ve mapped these numbers to the dates of every major global disaster from the last 50 years in perfect sequence. Earthquakes, fires, Tsunamis…The next number on the chain predicts that tomorrow, somewhere on this planet, 81 people are going to die in some kind of tragedy.”
The response from his unbelieving friend is also very symbolic of many end times unbelievers…see if this sounds familiar, “Whoa. Just step back. Have another look at it! Systems that find meaning in numbers are a dime in dozen. Why? Because people see what they want to see.”
So basically, you can have all the proof , the character and expertise on the subject but if it is not something they want to hear or that is not conceivable their first response will be unbelief. They simply cannot understand it with their own mind and therefore choose not to believe it.
God has been speaking two subjects from the Bible to me lately.
One is the book of Esther and the courage it took for her to face her fear and be willing to suffer the consequences for what she believed in for the good of others.
The other is about being a watchman for the house of God, warning people before it is too late. Last night I had a dream that I was walking on air high above the ground. I was able to see lot more from this vantage point. I could see what others did not want to see or did not even know was coming. As the dream developed I heard in my spirit in my sleep “watchmen on the wall”…then I could see myself walking along the wall….positioned to watch and declare to those inside the fort if danger was coming.
How do I not know that I was set to be a watchman on the wall (see this website too http://www.watchman.ca) for such a time as this. (Esther and Ezekiel combined). All I know is there must be a way to blow the trumpet and get others too listen. Save as many as you can. The time is short. Leave what is behind and press forward, no time for sorrow, no time for fear, no time to worry, no time to hide, no time to play, be about the Father’s work before it is too late. That is what I feel going on inside me.
Most importantly PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. And read the Word.
Ezekiel 3:17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman to the house of Israel. Therefore hear the Word of my mouth, and give them warning from Me.” "....you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood." Ezekiel 3:18
3/30/09
3/29/09
Relationships
I spent many years hiding from my problems, avoiding confrontations with people and pushing my feelings down with food and other addictions but God in his mercy gave me the grace to work through many of these issues.
I can boast in the Lord and what he has helped me to face in my life. These are some of the things I have learned:
1. Relationships you care about require communication and effort. You might have to confront a misunderstanding or a problem. This may involve unpleasant conversations you would normally avoid but if the relationship is of value to you then you will deal with it. Unlike the famous movie line in the 1970 movie Love Story "love means never having to say your sorry", you will probably have to humble yourself and say you're sorry, admit when you're wrong or the possibility that you could be wrong. Pride is a blockage to the heart of healthy relationships.
2. Relationships are like living things. They require nurturing care. They take time to grow and develop. They need selfless sacrifice at times. They are fed by communication and watered by listening hearts. If you aren't willing to do any of these things you won't have success in your relationships.
Imagine you have a relationship of value. Imagine you are unwilling to listen to that person, unwilling to communicate or share yourself. Imagine you expect the relationship to come built in with trust, respect and loving devotion. Imagine you won't give up anything personal or contribute to the relationship but instead expect the other person to give to you and you are eager to take what is offered. How long do you think this relationship will last? Some people settle for bad relationships but most people do not and sooner or later somebody will want out.
The most important relationship is the one you have with your Creator. He loved you before you knew him and gave something of value as a gift of sacrifice. He gave his sons's life for you and for me. Jesus gave up his life willingly. No greater love than to lay down your own life for your friends.
I can boast in the Lord and what he has helped me to face in my life. These are some of the things I have learned:
1. Relationships you care about require communication and effort. You might have to confront a misunderstanding or a problem. This may involve unpleasant conversations you would normally avoid but if the relationship is of value to you then you will deal with it. Unlike the famous movie line in the 1970 movie Love Story "love means never having to say your sorry", you will probably have to humble yourself and say you're sorry, admit when you're wrong or the possibility that you could be wrong. Pride is a blockage to the heart of healthy relationships.
2. Relationships are like living things. They require nurturing care. They take time to grow and develop. They need selfless sacrifice at times. They are fed by communication and watered by listening hearts. If you aren't willing to do any of these things you won't have success in your relationships.
Imagine you have a relationship of value. Imagine you are unwilling to listen to that person, unwilling to communicate or share yourself. Imagine you expect the relationship to come built in with trust, respect and loving devotion. Imagine you won't give up anything personal or contribute to the relationship but instead expect the other person to give to you and you are eager to take what is offered. How long do you think this relationship will last? Some people settle for bad relationships but most people do not and sooner or later somebody will want out.
The most important relationship is the one you have with your Creator. He loved you before you knew him and gave something of value as a gift of sacrifice. He gave his sons's life for you and for me. Jesus gave up his life willingly. No greater love than to lay down your own life for your friends.
3/27/09
Forgiveness
This morning God reminded me that we have to walk in forgiveness and believe me, if you are trying to love others and share the love of God, there will be opportunity for offense. #1 When offense comes and feelings are hurt, before you act, lay it at the foot of the cross and talk to God about it. Jesus can identify with every root feeling you are experiencing. #2 The choice to overlook an offense brings much more glory to God and opens a door to discuss an issue that will let you express yourself in love. God can lead the conversation but it needs to be addressed. Don't let it fester. Sometimes we can turn away as though it never happened but more than likely we will have to discuss the matter. #3 "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Part of the Lord's prayer and something that is not easy because human beings feel so much. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." That was the hardest prayer prayed to the Father by his son as he was hanging torn and bloodied on a tree meant for criminals. Innocent blood spilled and yet in his tormented pain he could pray for his enemies, "Father, forgive them." *sometimes people don't realize they are trespassing if they are lost*
3/26/09
Strife & Offense
After saying how things were going so great and how I've been able to not feel pulled down to distracting problems, saying that I've been feeling kind of numb lately to many of these daily problems lately blah, blah, blah....well this is what I get for boasting. This week I found out just how numb I am not. Its been a very hard week and I actually feel I got slammed pretty hard affecting both my physical and mental (emotional). My patience and suffering was strained this week when I experienced a misunderstanding at work. Something was said that was accusatory and hurt my feelings.
I am very fond of my co-worker/friend. We've been through a lot together in a very short time and I've actually come out of my comfort zone to risk sharing the good news with her as we've been building our friendship.
I believe there is actually an outside source stirring up strife. In reality people can be influenced so easily and that is why God tells us to guard our hearts. Phillipians 4:6 we are instructed to never worry about anything but instead, in every situation we are to bring our petitions and requests to God through prayer combined with thanksgiving; Phillipians 4:7 Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts (our hearts) and emotions (and minds) through Christ Jesus. This peace will keep us from sinking under the weight of these anxious troubling moments in our lives, keeping us calm with inward peace that confidence that makes us at peace and satisfied. One reason is because we as Believers in Christ are to get and keep a good name (a good reputation); a name for good things with God and good men.
I know the actual one behind the accusation is really the dark Accuser (Rev 12:10). Really the devil tries to thwart God's plan and put a wedge between us and God and between us and mankind, especially when we are interceding for a lost soul. Other people, you've known a few I'm sure, are often manipulated by outside forces and they themselves do not recognize their own influence and attempts to manipulate other people. I know of one particular person who may be involved in my situation as an outside influence. This is why God cautions us to guard our hearts because our peace and our reputation is at stake here. I need to remember that strife and division is a tactic the devil pulls out to bring us down to his level instead of living the Word of God. Interestingly this morning, God impressed me to meditate on 1 Cor. 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Even though my feelings don’t feel like it I know that I am victorious because it is written: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, (not against co-workers or husbands or neighbors) but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.
Then God instructs us "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's. You need not fight in this battle, station yourselves, stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf." Then it says, "tomorrow, go out to face them for the Lord is with you." Notice it didn’t say go home and have a pity party for 2 weeks acting like a whipped puppy, it says go out to face it knowing God is with you!!! In other words, ride into battle and by charging in full force you will see the hand of God. Immediately upon experiencing the hurt I felt I needed to humble myself and apologize for the misunderstanding, which I did. I let it be known that how I was being perceived is not my heart's motive and that I have complete confidence in this person to do their job so there is no battle with me. I did feel I needed to go home and remove myself from the heated zone but in my retreat I am turning to God to strengthen me in my inner man so that tomorrow I can go back to work full of love and faith. I will keep myself in prayer through the evening and saturate myself in the word.
We have to remind the devil that he has no right to act toward a child of God and we refuse to accept anything the devil heaps onto us! (Most of the time we just accept it as an unchangeable reality). When he tries to put doubt or discouragement, or fear, or whatever it is that is troubling you and puts things in your mind like, 'I might as well give up...my husband is never going to be a Christian', or 'my financial situation is in ruin and I'll guess I'll always be stuck in debt'. We don't have to listen to him. God said the devil was a liar, in fact, he IS the father of lies.
In John 8:44 it says: "Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies." Also, in 2 Corinthians I0: 3,4,5 it says: "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful, for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
We are fighting a battle in the spiritual realm, and it is very difficult to keep on keeping on when we do not see what we are fighting. But praise God, we do not have to! He tells us in 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, the battle is not ours, it is His! That is why He tells us not to worry, but to trust Him.
So, the next time doubt, fear, or whatever your problem is that comes into your mind, read through the scriptures listed under the Armor and find one that you can identify with, and tell Satan to leave you alone in the name of Jesus! Take control of your mind, by putting God's Word into it, do not let the devil use it against you. God gave you a mind and told you to work out your Salvation.
I am very fond of my co-worker/friend. We've been through a lot together in a very short time and I've actually come out of my comfort zone to risk sharing the good news with her as we've been building our friendship.
I believe there is actually an outside source stirring up strife. In reality people can be influenced so easily and that is why God tells us to guard our hearts. Phillipians 4:6 we are instructed to never worry about anything but instead, in every situation we are to bring our petitions and requests to God through prayer combined with thanksgiving; Phillipians 4:7 Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts (our hearts) and emotions (and minds) through Christ Jesus. This peace will keep us from sinking under the weight of these anxious troubling moments in our lives, keeping us calm with inward peace that confidence that makes us at peace and satisfied. One reason is because we as Believers in Christ are to get and keep a good name (a good reputation); a name for good things with God and good men.
I know the actual one behind the accusation is really the dark Accuser (Rev 12:10). Really the devil tries to thwart God's plan and put a wedge between us and God and between us and mankind, especially when we are interceding for a lost soul. Other people, you've known a few I'm sure, are often manipulated by outside forces and they themselves do not recognize their own influence and attempts to manipulate other people. I know of one particular person who may be involved in my situation as an outside influence. This is why God cautions us to guard our hearts because our peace and our reputation is at stake here. I need to remember that strife and division is a tactic the devil pulls out to bring us down to his level instead of living the Word of God. Interestingly this morning, God impressed me to meditate on 1 Cor. 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Even though my feelings don’t feel like it I know that I am victorious because it is written: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, (not against co-workers or husbands or neighbors) but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.
Then God instructs us "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's. You need not fight in this battle, station yourselves, stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf." Then it says, "tomorrow, go out to face them for the Lord is with you." Notice it didn’t say go home and have a pity party for 2 weeks acting like a whipped puppy, it says go out to face it knowing God is with you!!! In other words, ride into battle and by charging in full force you will see the hand of God. Immediately upon experiencing the hurt I felt I needed to humble myself and apologize for the misunderstanding, which I did. I let it be known that how I was being perceived is not my heart's motive and that I have complete confidence in this person to do their job so there is no battle with me. I did feel I needed to go home and remove myself from the heated zone but in my retreat I am turning to God to strengthen me in my inner man so that tomorrow I can go back to work full of love and faith. I will keep myself in prayer through the evening and saturate myself in the word.
We have to remind the devil that he has no right to act toward a child of God and we refuse to accept anything the devil heaps onto us! (Most of the time we just accept it as an unchangeable reality). When he tries to put doubt or discouragement, or fear, or whatever it is that is troubling you and puts things in your mind like, 'I might as well give up...my husband is never going to be a Christian', or 'my financial situation is in ruin and I'll guess I'll always be stuck in debt'. We don't have to listen to him. God said the devil was a liar, in fact, he IS the father of lies.
In John 8:44 it says: "Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies." Also, in 2 Corinthians I0: 3,4,5 it says: "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful, for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
We are fighting a battle in the spiritual realm, and it is very difficult to keep on keeping on when we do not see what we are fighting. But praise God, we do not have to! He tells us in 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, the battle is not ours, it is His! That is why He tells us not to worry, but to trust Him.
So, the next time doubt, fear, or whatever your problem is that comes into your mind, read through the scriptures listed under the Armor and find one that you can identify with, and tell Satan to leave you alone in the name of Jesus! Take control of your mind, by putting God's Word into it, do not let the devil use it against you. God gave you a mind and told you to work out your Salvation.
3/22/09
Ladies Retreat - Camp Caroline Memories
So I went to this Christian ladies retreat at Camp Caroline....March 20, 21, 22nd. I received very little sleep but was amazingly refreshed in spirit, mind and even body. I consumed too much food but couldn't get enough of the spiritual food God was providing at the heavenly smorgasbord served by our guest speaker, musician, singer/songwriter Carolyn Arends. My eyes took in the the refreshing scenery in the incredible, inspirational setting of Camp Caroline, which includes that amazing chapel and the frozen moment in time as the setting was like that of a stress free Christmas as large, white flakes of snow fell gently on the evergreen cedars. The cozy fireplace inside the dining hall was always a popular place with its comfortable round sectional sofa. This was an unexpected pleasure and surprise for me a charismatic Christian to be joined with over 200 Baptist sisters at their annual provincial wide Baptist church retreat. It was very humbling experience to surrender myself to God and to experience a spiritually blessed and well organized ladies retreat. I was very impressed. My physical ears took in the awe inspiring music as it ministered to my heart both in my soul and body while my spiritual ears awakened to a freshness that I find I cannot yet explain. I bonded with my friends and acquaintances and made new ones as friendships began to blossom. I was in touch with God and He gave me insight and revelation even within the first seconds that I walked into the building. I knew I was going to grow this weekend in a new life experience with God and my sisters in Christ.
These are just some of the highlights from my weekend
Carolyn Arends. It was truly amazing!!! Check out her blog (angelwrestle.blogspot.com)and her website www.carolynarends.com!
Anyway, it was beautiful weekend and I'm going to write down my life lessons and tell you about it here.
These are just some of the highlights from my weekend
Carolyn Arends. It was truly amazing!!! Check out her blog (angelwrestle.blogspot.com)and her website www.carolynarends.com!
Anyway, it was beautiful weekend and I'm going to write down my life lessons and tell you about it here.
Crossing Over
When it comes time for me to cross over to my new world, this is one of the songs I would like played at my memorial. This is the song played in the movie "Lord of the Rings, Return of the King". It is played at the end of the movie as the credits roll. There is so much about this song that touches my heart. One of the lines in the movie at the end....."I think I'm quite ready for another adventure....". I read somewhere that death is like a ship sailing away toward the sunset and just as it slips from view crossing the horizon, your loved one leaves this temporal world for the eternal. These are the words to Annie Lennox' song "Into the West".
Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.
Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.
Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.
Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.
Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.
Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.
Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.
Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.
What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.
And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.
3/15/09
Alone
I am tired, weary actually, and am praying, begging that God will hear me and change something for me because I am too tired to do it alone anymore.
What am I talking about? Something as simple as going to church. For the past 50 years I've had to drag people to church with me...my husbands (I've had 3), my children (train a child in the way they should go...), my family -- parents and I'm just tired. I've prayed my family into the kingdom of God. I've stood by them, prayed for them and tried to be an example of Christian faith and love. I've went to church and fought the fight of faith but I'm so bone tired and weary of going it alone that today it hit me hard.
I've been struggling to go to church for months since my health began to diminish due to an accident. Finally, I feel stronger physically but emotionally I'm a wreck. Probably needed to go to church but the effort to get there (45 minute drive) seemed even too much for me. I had a bit of a struggle again (as usual) on Sunday morning with my husband and I had to fight to go to church. I got into the car and started out. I didn't get very far when the tears started pouring out and running down my face.
I began praying to God and weeping harder and harder. I knew I wasn't really going to drive across the city to go to church, not when I wanted to pull over and just throw myself in to God's arms and cry.
The Bible says that God bottles up our tears. He knows our heart's cry. He knows we are weary but says do not faint or grow weary in well doing for you will reap a great reward but I'm just so tired. I am very, very sad today. My emotions are dark and depressed but its more than just a 'today feeling', its more like a load of tears held back inside my heart that can't be held back anymore. I don't want to walk through the next years of my life alone in Christ. I tired of doing it.
Its my fault for loving someone that doesn't really believe in God. He is a good man. He knows there is a God and he believes but the Bible says that even the demons know and believe. We have to go beyond simply knowing and believing, we have to open our heart, cry out to God and ask Him to forgive us our sin by the cleansing blood sacrifice of his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Open the door and invite God into our lives to stay with us, to become the head of our heart's home. Who is the ruler of your heart's home? Is God in charge?
I am crying out to God to change my heart and change my life because obviously there are things to do but I can't fulfill my destiny like this. I need help. I need a help-mate. I need to be part of a 3-stranded cord united with Christ, my husband and me. The road is going to get a lot tougher so I need more than just God's grace to endure and overcome, I need a change of heart and an armor bearer of my own. I need my husband to not only support me but something that has been my heart's desire all my life is to have a Christian husband as my leader and caretaker.
Husband love your wives as Christ loves the church and tend to her as a garden.
For I can't go it alone anymore, God, help me, give me the partner I need on this earth to help me make it through to the end.
Amen, that is my prayer.
What am I talking about? Something as simple as going to church. For the past 50 years I've had to drag people to church with me...my husbands (I've had 3), my children (train a child in the way they should go...), my family -- parents and I'm just tired. I've prayed my family into the kingdom of God. I've stood by them, prayed for them and tried to be an example of Christian faith and love. I've went to church and fought the fight of faith but I'm so bone tired and weary of going it alone that today it hit me hard.
I've been struggling to go to church for months since my health began to diminish due to an accident. Finally, I feel stronger physically but emotionally I'm a wreck. Probably needed to go to church but the effort to get there (45 minute drive) seemed even too much for me. I had a bit of a struggle again (as usual) on Sunday morning with my husband and I had to fight to go to church. I got into the car and started out. I didn't get very far when the tears started pouring out and running down my face.
I began praying to God and weeping harder and harder. I knew I wasn't really going to drive across the city to go to church, not when I wanted to pull over and just throw myself in to God's arms and cry.
The Bible says that God bottles up our tears. He knows our heart's cry. He knows we are weary but says do not faint or grow weary in well doing for you will reap a great reward but I'm just so tired. I am very, very sad today. My emotions are dark and depressed but its more than just a 'today feeling', its more like a load of tears held back inside my heart that can't be held back anymore. I don't want to walk through the next years of my life alone in Christ. I tired of doing it.
Its my fault for loving someone that doesn't really believe in God. He is a good man. He knows there is a God and he believes but the Bible says that even the demons know and believe. We have to go beyond simply knowing and believing, we have to open our heart, cry out to God and ask Him to forgive us our sin by the cleansing blood sacrifice of his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Open the door and invite God into our lives to stay with us, to become the head of our heart's home. Who is the ruler of your heart's home? Is God in charge?
I am crying out to God to change my heart and change my life because obviously there are things to do but I can't fulfill my destiny like this. I need help. I need a help-mate. I need to be part of a 3-stranded cord united with Christ, my husband and me. The road is going to get a lot tougher so I need more than just God's grace to endure and overcome, I need a change of heart and an armor bearer of my own. I need my husband to not only support me but something that has been my heart's desire all my life is to have a Christian husband as my leader and caretaker.
Husband love your wives as Christ loves the church and tend to her as a garden.
For I can't go it alone anymore, God, help me, give me the partner I need on this earth to help me make it through to the end.
Amen, that is my prayer.
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