Confronting Clutter

Anyone reading this post who really knows me well certainly knows the struggle I've had all my life with clutter.  It has controlled me and my family so much that I could share many experiences in my life that all connect back to the foundation of hoarding.  The reason for the hoarding is the real issue but I'm not afraid anymore to confront it.


Those of us suffering with the mental anguish of hoarding, hate that we are controlled by our stuff.   When we find ourselves in a situation that backs us into a corner for a face to face confrontation with the reality that "I am a hoarder" the next step is even harder than the acknowledgment of the disorder.


The next step is to ask the question, "what are you going to do about it?" and even harder, "when are going to do something about it?".   For me the when is NOW.  In fact, I'm finding that a lot of issues I've buried deep inside are coming to the surface and they are all running to a central rendevous of NOW.  Why now?  The reason is I found myself in a situation beyond my control, which has brought me to a decision making time in my life.  That decision is to let go of almost everything around me and move to another province.


The last big change like this was when the pivotal moment when I decided to sell everything and move to Canada exactly 12 years ago next month.  That was a huge step for me and my life dramatically changed forever.


Prior to that was after the devastation of a divorce.  I sold everything except what I could pack into my camper van and a couple of boxes that I could store at my parent's house and hit the road.  I traveled for several months working in sales and living on the road.  Letting go of the furniture and collectibles that I had accumulated over the first 12 years of my young adult life was almost as hard as the divorce but was extremely freeing. It was summer of '91 and time for a new change.


Following the first time to face the first loss of a closer family member (my brother, Russell), I came home to live shortly with my parents during our grieving and until I could figure out what I was going to do next.  By the spring of '92 my life changed and I settled for a new marriage -- not my best decision.  I began the habit of hoarding but this time with new stuff in my new relationship.


After 4 years and another divorce, I dug into my own little world and pulled the blanket of stuff snug around myself and retreated to the dark shaddows of my basement.  Processing the pain took some time and during that time my brother, my grandmother and my uncle died.  Divorce and death -- it doesn't get more final than that.


June 1997, I was coming out into the light of a new day and met the man that would be the love of my life, which would start the beginning of another purge.  Within a year, July 1998, I sent all my things away to my daughter's house and packed only those extremely important things I couldn't part with (which fit onto one skid) and shipped them to Canada.  I moved myself to Calgary, Alberta and began my new life with Brian.  It was the best decision I ever made but also the hardest.  Shortly after that I had to face the death of my parents.


October 2008, my husband lost his job and decided to make a career change.  This moment became a catalyst that began another cycle of change for the better.  Each time I experience a change like this, God has helped me to learn and grow from it, which changes me from glory to glory.


January 2009, the last remaining immediate family member, my brother, Bufford, passed away and his wife followed him within a month.


Our financial future was about to change --
September 2009, my husband and I decided to make a huge change.  The steps were before us as the answer was clear -- it is time for the biggest change yet.  We knew the answer was to let go.  Although I cannot share it in this blog, there was a bigger vision suffice it to say that deciding to renovate and sell our income rental property is a huge step in that direction where we want to be in our lives by this time next year.


And so began the journey and now I find myself confronting clutter and letting go of stuff!!!!!!!!


I suggest you read this:  http://healing.about.com/od/declutter/a/clutter-away-clutter.htm