Revival of a Spirit

I use to love to read everything spiritual, listen to tapes, read books and Bibles, go to church every time the doors were open. I raised my kids this way and though I didn’t have much I was happier in my spirit being about God’s work than I am now. Right now I feel very shallow and almost empty. I feel like my life is full of empty and meaningless things. I’m busy playing or living my cozy little life here on this earth. I have forgotten my home planet so to speak. I have forgotten my first love. I have forgotten my calling and purpose on this earth, which is so very temporal. I have forgotten my destiny and my direction. I feel like I’m drugged up all the time or intoxicated by the pleasures and cares of this world – this life currently on earth. I don’t really feel alive anymore. I feel like I’m missing something. I have everything I ever wanted but I miss church activities. I miss the good old days of church but what I really miss is church involvement and personal growth. Evangelism and reaching the lost, praying for people, encouraging them in the Lord…..this was living but now I’m just caught up in a bubble of getting everything I want and all these “things” simply distract me from my real reason for living.

Finally, I have the thrill of seeing my children walking with God, especially my daughter who is surpassing me and I’m so happy for her. Finally all those years of prayer and now I am getting to see it fulfilled. She is alive in Christ and excited to be learning and growing. I on the other hand feel dried up and as though I’m dying. The only thing I want that I really cannot seem to have is my husband saved, spirit filled and hungrily walking after Christ Jesus. I’ve lost hope of my dream for a Christian husband. That is the only thing I have yet to receive. Now more than ever I am concerned because our finances are under attack, my health is under attack and my life seems meaningless – of no value or worth.

Please God, please help me. Please ignite the ember inside me. Wake me from this numbing dazed mental state and renew a right spirit within me. Revive me O God, Speak to me and help me to put into action that which you are showing me.